Retro Gamer Ryan: RGR007 - I'm a Real Boy!

After much wandering and swearing (okay, not really), I managed to stumble across something other than the looping rooms I was growing accustomed to in the Phantom Tower. I found a dead-end room with a treasure box, and in that box... the HyperSpeed3! Now I walk at least as fast as everything else in the game. Since I went south to get there, I decided to continue north, and found myself in a one-way corridor leading to the boss!

In a repeat of the boss battle in the cave northeast of Somusa, the goofy flying gremlin guy was there to greet me again. His pattern hadn't changed much, although he seemed to fly more directly at me. He also added a single new attack to his repertoire, a 4-way splitting star thing that didn't amount to much. It was a little harder to hit him while trying to avoid him this time, but I eventually brought him down.

In the next room, I found the princess. The REAL princess. I could tell she was the real princess because she was all pink. We exchanged pleasantries, and then exited the tower (which immediately collapsed, as expected) to head back to the castle.

What could it be?

You again? Need more arrows?

You'd better not be another fake.

Well, pink is a more princess-like color.

I'm bad news for towers.

Not very attentive, are we?

Once we got past the first set of guards inside the castle, we confronted the fake princess, who was finally, though obviously, identified as the Wizard in disguise. Given no other choice, the Wizard decided to throw down right there in the throne room. This fight was ridiculously easy, as he moves very slowly when he's not teleporting. The only complication to the entire battle is the fact that the Wizard is invisible, but the Magic Glasses make that a non-issue. After 6 or so direct hits, the Wizard was dead.

Well, technically dead, I suppose. His spirit remained, and announced that he'd be transferring himself into the body of a dragon (meaning he eventually did get his hands on the scrolls). The destruction of the Wizard broke the spell that had turned the king to stone, returning him to life. It also had a somewhat unexpected effect...

It broke a spell that had been cast on me before the game even began, turning me back into a man!

Wow, this is confusing.

He just looks silly.

Creepy disembodied voice, check.

PLOT TWIST!

You've known me for,
what, 10 minutes?

Oh yeah, there's still a bad guy.

Once more with enthusiasm!

Well, at least you didn't change gender.

Huh? That's a dude?

WHAT?!

Apparently, the Wizard had heard the prophecy made by the sorcerers who created the dragon that originally defeated him. The prophecy said that if the Wizard were to escape the Legendary Sword's bindings, only a man from a foreign land would be able to defeat him. He tried to win on a technicality by turning all the men in said foreign land into women, and this included me. But it looks like it didn't work.

With the Wizard preparing to become a dragon, it was up to me to hunt him down and reseal his spirit inside the Legendary Sword. So I headed out to the only place I could think of, a small town on a plateau called Baig, where only men are allowed to enter. I'm a man now, so I suppose I can get in. How convenient!

My first town as a man!

You seem surprised.

That's just great.

And that's where I'm headed.

Thanks, Strategy Guide Man!

Has that ever worked?

Beyond Baig was an icy wasteland with an especially confusing series of caves and tunnels, designed like a maze to prevent intruders from reaching the Final Tower. But I persevered, and eventually found the right path (which it turns out is fairly short) to the tower.