RGR Game #005: Bonk's Adventure

Wake up, Bonk! I want to play!

It's Sunday, so it's next week now. Wow, how time flies! RGR Game #005 is Bonk's Adventure for the TurboGrafx-16, a fun little platformer starring a hard-headed caveboy named Bonk in his quest... er, Adventure, to save princess Margo (or wait, was it Za?) from the clutches of the evil Stone Wizard... wait, no, that's not right at all.

Hold on, I'm getting my identical formulaic plots confused. This isn't Kid Niki; I'm done with that game.

Okay, here we go...

Bonk's Aventure is the story of Bonk, a hard-headed caveboy who must set out on a quest to rescue princess Za of Moonland from the evil King Drool. Using only his head, Bonk must fight his way through 5 stages of King Drool's minions, facing off at the end of each stage against a brainwashed inhabitant of Moonland, and finally against King Drool himself.

Bonk's attacks are limited to jumping upward into enemies, headbutting them, and flipping over to drop headfirst onto them. You can also flip continuously to float across larger gaps when needed, as flipping slows your rate of descent.

Fun fact: the last section of stage one has you enter a large, brontosaur-like creature via its mouth, fight your way through its nonsensical digestive system, and finally exit through its... yeah. And you don't even get to take a shower afterwards.

Winners Don't Use Drugs™

Gee, this looks like a fun ride!

Boss 1: Huey

Huey lumbers around and blows snot bubbles at you. Just avoid them and keep dropping onto the horned... egg helmet... thing on his head. He'll be back to normal in no time.

Need a tissue, buddy?

Shucks, 'tweren't nuthin'!

Boss 2: Gladdis

Gladdis is some kinda ninja. No, really. Shadow clones, shuriken, hanging from the ceiling -- it's all ninja stuff. When there are two of him, you have to hit the correct one. Eventually, he'll start bouncing around on spring shoes, and later, teleporting around and throwing four shuriken at a time. Just be patient, and he's not too tough.

Note: this boss was intended to be male; the glasses are a bit feminine, but he's got a moustache. In Japan, his name is Shurricane (a portmanteau of shuriken and hurricane), which is much manlier.

Get down here so I can whoop you!

Please, I'm EVERYONE's hero!

Boss 3: Kongo Zilla

Kongo Zilla is actually pretty tough. He actively protects his head with punches, and throws chunks of ice at you. Plus, you have to fight him on icy terrain, where one false move can immobilize you and send you sliding into a wall. The trick is to wait for him to dive underground, and then wait for him to come back up (which will always be right next to you) and get above him for some head drops. With practice, he can be beaten with minimal damage taken.

Those are some intimidating pecs.

It's not hard, man.

Boss 4: Punchy Pedro

Initially, Pedro looks tougher than he is. He punches quickly, and his special attack, a sort of sliding lunge punch, does two full hearts damage and tosses you up out of the screen. When you hit him, he dashes back a little, which allows you to sort of combo him back and forth once you get the timing down. He'll also defend himself by launching rocket-propelled boxing gloves that move toward you slowly. They're easy to take down, though, so concentrate on driving Pedro back and forth, and the fight will be over before you know it.

Float like a REALLY BIG butterfly!

Get it? Bell? Boxing? HA HA!

This was a single-sitting completion done without even continuing, but I'll save the next post until tomorrow just to give my fingers some rest. Until then... hmm... you know, I don't have a sign-off catch phrase, so let's try one out...

FOR GREAT JUSTICE!