Friday, February 26, 2010

RGR019 - You Win Some, You Lose Some

Fresh off my two consecutive failures, I decided this time to check out the Magic Forest. The stage is a bit creepier than the others I've played so far, with the weird glowing puffy flower-things in the background, the bubbling pools of unknown magenta liquid, and of course... pink elephant bees. It actually reminds me a bit of the poisonous swamp from Crystalis, but Soaring Eagle seems to have no trouble breathing here.

After bouncing from branch to branch to cross the mysterious magenta swamp, Soaring Eagle must climb the tall bamboo-like stalks, both by using branches to bounce upward, and by riding on strange floating creatures that look an awful lot like flying jellyfish. Luckily, they seem to be harmless. After more obstacles, ominous hanging cocoons begin to appear in the background as the boss draws near.

Magic Forest Boss: Magic Guardian

The Magic Guardian begins the battle in the form of one of those cocoons in the background, dropping onto the ground, kicking up some harmful dust or powder, and then quickly rising up and out of sight, only to drop again somewhere else. The pattern is simple here, so it's easy to get in there and get a couple of hits in each time he drops. After several hits (he doesn't take damage in his cocoon, unfortunately), the cocoon disappears, revealing a man-sized moth, a Mothman if you will. In moth form, the Magic Guardian zips around the room, throwing powder in four directions each time he stops. His speed makes him a difficult target, since you have to get close to hit him. Luckily, I had a magic potion to spare going in (plus I gathered enough gourds to gain my fifth life heart), so I was able to last long enough to defeat him.

By defeating the Magic Guardian, I earned the Web totem, which, according to the manual, gives me the ability to catch an enemy in a web. In practice, I found it actually lets me catch an enemy, and then throw that enemy at other enemies. So it's kind of a projectile weapon, but fairly hard to use.

You guys see it too, right?
You guys see it too, right?
I wonder if it TASTES like fruit punch.
I wonder if it TASTES like fruit punch.

Blah blah Avatar blah blah...
Blah blah Avatar blah blah...
Jackpot!
Jackpot!

Peek-a-boo!
Peek-a-boo!
Are you a butterfly or a bee?
Are you a butterfly or a bee?

I see; you're a SUPERSTAR!
I see; you're a SUPERSTAR!
But I'm still taking your totem.
But I'm still taking your totem.

I chose to check out the Water Test next, since I wasn't confident the web would help with the previous stages. I quickly learned that Soaring Eagle can hold his breath FOREVER; long stretches of the stage are entirely underwater, and other than the occasional little group of bubbles, there's no evidence that Soaring Eagle even breathes. After fighting off some vaguely familiar octopi, snails and odd little blobby fish, the path leads upward, with fan-dancing manikins. You know, those little wooden figures artists use to help visualize poses.

Back, vile octopus!
Back, vile octopus!
This snail has ultra gripping power!
This snail has ultra gripping power!

Soaring Eagle hates blobfish.
Soaring Eagle hates blobfish.
What? Manikins do fan dances all the time.
What? Manikins do fan dances all the time.

I didn't get much farther than that, so I moved on to the Secret Cliff next. Some cute little dragons guarded the entrance to some sort of palace, where carefully placed explosives made the going much slower. I ran into more manikins here, as well as a heavily-armored warrior who gave me a hard time. After riding floating platforms across a pit of spikes, I finally managed to reach another boss.

Secret Cliff Boss: Secret Guardian

Yowza. The Secret Guardian is a living wrecking ball, bouncing wildly around the room in an attempt to destroy all intruders, including me. Every now and then, he stops, reveals his head, arms and legs, and launches a long-range punch. I was pretty low on life when I entered his chamber, so I didn't last long.

Hey, flaming bird! Can I get some help here?
Hey, flaming bird! Can I
get some help here?
Ooh, a tiny disjointed dragon!
Ooh, a tiny disjointed dragon!


'Cuz they're TNT... they're dynamite.
'Cuz they're TNT... they're dynamite.
Why does he get a shield? No fair!
Why does he get a shield? No fair!

Nope, didn't make the jump.
Nope, didn't make the jump.
Out of control wrecking ball!
Out of control wrecking ball!

I swear, one of these days I'll beat another level. Up next was the Ice Ritual. Things were kind of icy, though I was more concerned with the floating grabby hands and the giant eyeballs in the background. A couple of long drops down shafts lined with spikes and various disembodied limbs, punctuated with samurai duels, eventually led me to a final corridor full of purple slimes that helped me collect some gourds. At the end of the corridor, the ground simply ended, forcing me to drop down into the boss' chamber.

Ice Ritual Boss: Ice Guardian

I feel like I could take him, if only I could get the timing down. All the Ice Guardian does is hop back and forth, stopping only occasionally to attack. This attack consists of the screen flashing red, and the Ice Guardian splitting into four copies of himself, each of which flies out in a different direction. Once the copies rejoin, he resumes his hopping. He also uses this attack to retaliate whenever he's hit. Unfortunately, I found myself overwhelmed by the attack several times, and couldn't time my attacks to prevent his from hitting me, so this time, victory goes to the Ice Guardian.

On a bit of a side note, don't you think the Ice Guardian looks a little like the Shadow Statue from Ninja Gaiden?

Eww, more grabby hands!
Eww, more grabby hands!
Indian Brave vs. Samurai: Who will win?
Indian Brave vs. Samurai: Who will win?

And now a face to go with the grabby hands!
And now a face to go with
the grabby hands!
Hurry, the purple blobs are closing in!
Hurry, the purple blobs are closing in!


Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
I think I made him mad.
I think I made him mad.

I returned to the Fire Test to see if I'd fare any better the second time through. I did not, so I then tried the Sacred Woods again, and was again defeated by the boss. He's pretty quick, and those bamboo spikes that fall from the ceiling keep catching me off-guard. I was getting frustrated at this point, but I fought on, this time back at the Water Test. I survived the manikins, blobfish and flaming birds, and made it to the boss with two magic potions at the ready.

Water Test Boss: Water Guardian

The Water Guardian is pretty tough, since he moves quickly and gives you no place to flee to. He begins the fight as a trail of water orbs that move along the floor, walls and ceiling. He then stops and shows his true form, that of a giant dancing pink frog in a cape. Evidence follows. He attacks by rushing at Soaring Eagle, spitting water like a cannon, and then returns to his other form to start the cycle again. I took a lot of damage, but thanks to the magic potions, I was able to just keep stabbing back until he dropped.

My victory over the Water Guardian earned me the Ice Crystal totem, which apparently lets me freeze enemies, perhaps to use them as platforms.

Oh no, he's gonna get me wet!
Oh no, he's gonna get me wet!
Uhh... care to dance?
Uhh... care to dance?

I find your dancing inappropriate!
I find your dancing inappropriate!
So I'm taking your totem and leaving!
So I'm taking your totem and leaving!

This victory makes me feel like I'm finally making a bit of headway here, but I'm not going to let it get to my head. I fully expect to keep dying along the way, but I'm up to six hearts now, so it's just a matter of perseverence and patience. Once I've got a full set of hearts, everyone'd better watch out!

Heh, who am I kidding? This game is hard. I'll still be dying left and right, even with all twelve hearts.

Monday, February 15, 2010

RGR Game #019: Whomp 'Em

This isn't offensive, right?
This isn't offensive, right?
The mushrooms never saw him coming.
The mushrooms never saw him coming.

It's that time again, folks: time for another dose of retro gaming goodness! This time, the name of the game is Whomp 'Em for the NES. The game stars a young Native American gentleman (the manual calls him an "Indian Brave") named Soaring Eagle as he undergoes various trials and rituals, collecting totems for his bag. This premise doesn't explain the mysterious evil being in the background as the game begins, but there's a good reason for that: in Japan, the game was known as Saiyuuki World 2: Tenjoukai no Majin. That version starred Son Goku, who had to obtain a number of special powers in order to do battle with the titular majin, or demon, or whatever you want to call him.

The game begins with an unnamed introduction trial, where we learn how to control Soaring Eagle and his trusty spear. The B button makes him stab high or low, depending on whether or not he's ducking at the time. The A button makes him jump, and pressing up or down in mid-jump causes him to point his spear upward or downward. I've ready many people refer to Whomp 'Em as a Mega Man clone, but the noticeable lack of projectile weapons (for now, at least), coupled with the relative uselessness of the special weapons makes the comparison moot.

What an angry-looking silhouette!
What an angry-looking silhouette!
Yeah, I don't know either.
Yeah, I don't know either.

Caution: Falling Mushrooms!
Caution: Falling Mushrooms!
Eww, disembodied grabby hands!
Eww, disembodied grabby hands!

It's gonna be one of those days...
It's gonna be one of those days...
Fear the tiny blue oni!
Fear the tiny blue oni!

After completing the introductory test, which has no boss, we're brought to the stage select screen, where we can choose from six stages: The Sacred Woods, Magic Forest, Water Test, Fire Test, Ice Ritual, and Secret Cliff. Since the screen opens with the Sacred Woods selected, I decided to try that stage out first.

The Sacred Woods

The stage opens with some trees, as ought to be expected of woods, sacred or not. There are a number of seemingly one-legged, one-eyed, one-armed hopping green guys, but they're easily destroyed or avoided. After scaling a small cliff by hopping from branch to branch, pits of bamboo spikes try to slow Soaring Eagle down and distract him from the threat of other bamboo spikes falling from the trees. Beyond the spike pits (and a single bear), a tunnel leads downward into a deeper part of the woods, where crawling bugs and jumping snakes add to the challenge. Soaring Eagle then enters the hollowed-out trunk of a giant tree, conveniently decorated with inward-pointing branches that support his weight and allow him to climb almost to the top. Near the exit, some sort of mysterious energy causes small logs to float up and down, forcing Soaring Eagle to time his jumps carefully as he makes his way out onto a huge branch leading to the boss.

Sacred Woods Boss: Forest Guardian

Looking back, this guy is embarrassingly easy; he floats around a bit, drops some bamboo spikes, and uses a spinning leaf attack. I didn't realize at first that holding Soaring Eagle's spear above his head protected him from the falling spikes, and that would have been quite welcome knowledge. Unfortunately, without it, I was no match for the guardian's obvious pattern and easily blockable attacks. Instead of continuing with the Sacred Woods, I figured I'd try a different stage, this time choosing the Fire Test.

Do we really need two tree areas?
Do we really need two tree areas?
How do you like my pogo stick?
How do you like my pogo stick?

I don't think we're in America anymore.
I don't think we're in America anymore.
Everybody do the Ferocious Bear!
Everybody do the Ferocious Bear!

Is this considered animal cruelty?
Is this considered animal cruelty?
Jumping snakes? No fair!
Jumping snakes? No fair!

This is not how trees work.
This is not how trees work.
Nope, still not right.
Nope, still not right.

He's a little teapot, apparently.
He's a little teapot, apparently.
Not quite as painful as it looks.
Not quite as painful as it looks.

Hadouken?
Hadouken?
Why would I choose to start over?
Why would I choose to start over?

As expected, everything is fiery there, even the sky. Hot volcanic rocks rain down as Soaring Eagle attempts to jump over lava pit after lava pit. Flaming birds dive-bomb him as he enters a cave, and spew little fireballs when killed. Needless to say, it's a tricky stage. A series of ladders leads up to higher levels, but jets of fire and more hot rocks make passage dangerous.

Have at you, unicorn goblin!
Have at you, unicorn goblin!
Would you believe it's a fire level?
Would you believe it's a fire level?

WHY ARE THE BIRDIES MADE OF FIRE?
WHY ARE THE BIRDIES MADE OF FIRE?
Mmm... popcorn.
Mmm... popcorn.

Self-destruct initiated.
Self-destruct initiated.

A little too dangerous, actually. I probably only made it halfway through the stage. Luckily, I'll slowly be gaining hit points, since the little gourds Soaring Eagle collects throughout his adventure boost his maximum HP little by little. Maybe next time I try this stage, I'll have twice the HP!

Then again, if four hearts got me halfway to the boss, eight should only get me far enough to be killed by the boss.