After bouncing from branch to branch to cross the mysterious magenta swamp, Soaring Eagle must climb the tall bamboo-like stalks, both by using branches to bounce upward, and by riding on strange floating creatures that look an awful lot like flying jellyfish. Luckily, they seem to be harmless. After more obstacles, ominous hanging cocoons begin to appear in the background as the boss draws near.
Magic Forest Boss: Magic Guardian
The Magic Guardian begins the battle in the form of one of those cocoons in the background, dropping onto the ground, kicking up some harmful dust or powder, and then quickly rising up and out of sight, only to drop again somewhere else. The pattern is simple here, so it's easy to get in there and get a couple of hits in each time he drops. After several hits (he doesn't take damage in his cocoon, unfortunately), the cocoon disappears, revealing a man-sized moth, a Mothman if you will. In moth form, the Magic Guardian zips around the room, throwing powder in four directions each time he stops. His speed makes him a difficult target, since you have to get close to hit him. Luckily, I had a magic potion to spare going in (plus I gathered enough gourds to gain my fifth life heart), so I was able to last long enough to defeat him.
By defeating the Magic Guardian, I earned the Web totem, which, according to the manual, gives me the ability to catch an enemy in a web. In practice, I found it actually lets me catch an enemy, and then throw that enemy at other enemies. So it's kind of a projectile weapon, but fairly hard to use.
You guys see it too, right?
I wonder if it TASTES like fruit punch.
Blah blah Avatar blah blah...
Jackpot!
Peek-a-boo!
Are you a butterfly or a bee?
I see; you're a SUPERSTAR!
But I'm still taking your totem.
I chose to check out the Water Test next, since I wasn't confident the web would help with the previous stages. I quickly learned that Soaring Eagle can hold his breath FOREVER; long stretches of the stage are entirely underwater, and other than the occasional little group of bubbles, there's no evidence that Soaring Eagle even breathes. After fighting off some vaguely familiar octopi, snails and odd little blobby fish, the path leads upward, with fan-dancing manikins. You know, those little wooden figures artists use to help visualize poses.
Back, vile octopus!
This snail has ultra gripping power!
Soaring Eagle hates blobfish.
What? Manikins do fan dances all the time.
I didn't get much farther than that, so I moved on to the Secret Cliff next. Some cute little dragons guarded the entrance to some sort of palace, where carefully placed explosives made the going much slower. I ran into more manikins here, as well as a heavily-armored warrior who gave me a hard time. After riding floating platforms across a pit of spikes, I finally managed to reach another boss.
Secret Cliff Boss: Secret Guardian
Yowza. The Secret Guardian is a living wrecking ball, bouncing wildly around the room in an attempt to destroy all intruders, including me. Every now and then, he stops, reveals his head, arms and legs, and launches a long-range punch. I was pretty low on life when I entered his chamber, so I didn't last long.
Hey, flaming bird! Can I
get some help here?
Ooh, a tiny disjointed dragon!
'Cuz they're TNT... they're dynamite.
Why does he get a shield? No fair!
Nope, didn't make the jump.
Out of control wrecking ball!
I swear, one of these days I'll beat another level. Up next was the Ice Ritual. Things were kind of icy, though I was more concerned with the floating grabby hands and the giant eyeballs in the background. A couple of long drops down shafts lined with spikes and various disembodied limbs, punctuated with samurai duels, eventually led me to a final corridor full of purple slimes that helped me collect some gourds. At the end of the corridor, the ground simply ended, forcing me to drop down into the boss' chamber.
Ice Ritual Boss: Ice Guardian
I feel like I could take him, if only I could get the timing down. All the Ice Guardian does is hop back and forth, stopping only occasionally to attack. This attack consists of the screen flashing red, and the Ice Guardian splitting into four copies of himself, each of which flies out in a different direction. Once the copies rejoin, he resumes his hopping. He also uses this attack to retaliate whenever he's hit. Unfortunately, I found myself overwhelmed by the attack several times, and couldn't time my attacks to prevent his from hitting me, so this time, victory goes to the Ice Guardian.
On a bit of a side note, don't you think the Ice Guardian looks a little like the Shadow Statue from Ninja Gaiden?
Eww, more grabby hands!
Indian Brave vs. Samurai: Who will win?
And now a face to go with
the grabby hands!
Hurry, the purple blobs are closing in!
Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
I think I made him mad.
I returned to the Fire Test to see if I'd fare any better the second time through. I did not, so I then tried the Sacred Woods again, and was again defeated by the boss. He's pretty quick, and those bamboo spikes that fall from the ceiling keep catching me off-guard. I was getting frustrated at this point, but I fought on, this time back at the Water Test. I survived the manikins, blobfish and flaming birds, and made it to the boss with two magic potions at the ready.
Water Test Boss: Water Guardian
The Water Guardian is pretty tough, since he moves quickly and gives you no place to flee to. He begins the fight as a trail of water orbs that move along the floor, walls and ceiling. He then stops and shows his true form, that of a giant dancing pink frog in a cape. Evidence follows. He attacks by rushing at Soaring Eagle, spitting water like a cannon, and then returns to his other form to start the cycle again. I took a lot of damage, but thanks to the magic potions, I was able to just keep stabbing back until he dropped.
My victory over the Water Guardian earned me the Ice Crystal totem, which apparently lets me freeze enemies, perhaps to use them as platforms.
Oh no, he's gonna get me wet!
Uhh... care to dance?
I find your dancing inappropriate!
So I'm taking your totem and leaving!
This victory makes me feel like I'm finally making a bit of headway here, but I'm not going to let it get to my head. I fully expect to keep dying along the way, but I'm up to six hearts now, so it's just a matter of perseverence and patience. Once I've got a full set of hearts, everyone'd better watch out!
Heh, who am I kidding? This game is hard. I'll still be dying left and right, even with all twelve hearts.
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