RGR Game #019: Whomp 'Em

This isn't offensive, right?

The mushrooms never saw him coming.

It's that time again, folks: time for another dose of retro gaming goodness! This time, the name of the game is Whomp 'Em for the NES. The game stars a young Native American gentleman (the manual calls him an "Indian Brave") named Soaring Eagle as he undergoes various trials and rituals, collecting totems for his bag. This premise doesn't explain the mysterious evil being in the background as the game begins, but there's a good reason for that: in Japan, the game was known as Saiyuuki World 2: Tenjoukai no Majin. That version starred Son Goku, who had to obtain a number of special powers in order to do battle with the titular majin, or demon, or whatever you want to call him.

The game begins with an unnamed introduction trial, where we learn how to control Soaring Eagle and his trusty spear. The B button makes him stab high or low, depending on whether or not he's ducking at the time. The A button makes him jump, and pressing up or down in mid-jump causes him to point his spear upward or downward. I've ready many people refer to Whomp 'Em as a Mega Man clone, but the noticeable lack of projectile weapons (for now, at least), coupled with the relative uselessness of the special weapons makes the comparison moot.

What an angry-looking silhouette!

Yeah, I don't know either.

Caution: Falling Mushrooms!

Eww, disembodied grabby hands!

It's gonna be one of those days...

Fear the tiny blue oni!

After completing the introductory test, which has no boss, we're brought to the stage select screen, where we can choose from six stages: The Sacred Woods, Magic Forest, Water Test, Fire Test, Ice Ritual, and Secret Cliff. Since the screen opens with the Sacred Woods selected, I decided to try that stage out first.

The Sacred Woods

The stage opens with some trees, as ought to be expected of woods, sacred or not. There are a number of seemingly one-legged, one-eyed, one-armed hopping green guys, but they're easily destroyed or avoided. After scaling a small cliff by hopping from branch to branch, pits of bamboo spikes try to slow Soaring Eagle down and distract him from the threat of other bamboo spikes falling from the trees. Beyond the spike pits (and a single bear), a tunnel leads downward into a deeper part of the woods, where crawling bugs and jumping snakes add to the challenge. Soaring Eagle then enters the hollowed-out trunk of a giant tree, conveniently decorated with inward-pointing branches that support his weight and allow him to climb almost to the top. Near the exit, some sort of mysterious energy causes small logs to float up and down, forcing Soaring Eagle to time his jumps carefully as he makes his way out onto a huge branch leading to the boss.

Sacred Woods Boss: Forest Guardian

Looking back, this guy is embarrassingly easy; he floats around a bit, drops some bamboo spikes, and uses a spinning leaf attack. I didn't realize at first that holding Soaring Eagle's spear above his head protected him from the falling spikes, and that would have been quite welcome knowledge. Unfortunately, without it, I was no match for the guardian's obvious pattern and easily blockable attacks. Instead of continuing with the Sacred Woods, I figured I'd try a different stage, this time choosing the Fire Test.

Do we really need two tree areas?

How do you like my pogo stick?

I don't think we're in America anymore.

Everybody do the Ferocious Bear!

Is this considered animal cruelty?

Jumping snakes? No fair!

This is not how trees work.

Nope, still not right.

He's a little teapot, apparently.

Not quite as painful as it looks.

Hadouken?

Why would I choose to start over?

As expected, everything is fiery there, even the sky. Hot volcanic rocks rain down as Soaring Eagle attempts to jump over lava pit after lava pit. Flaming birds dive-bomb him as he enters a cave, and spew little fireballs when killed. Needless to say, it's a tricky stage. A series of ladders leads up to higher levels, but jets of fire and more hot rocks make passage dangerous.

Have at you, unicorn goblin!

Would you believe it's a fire level?

WHY ARE THE BIRDIES MADE OF FIRE?

Mmm... popcorn.

Self-destruct initiated.

A little too dangerous, actually. I probably only made it halfway through the stage. Luckily, I'll slowly be gaining hit points, since the little gourds Soaring Eagle collects throughout his adventure boost his maximum HP little by little. Maybe next time I try this stage, I'll have twice the HP!

Then again, if four hearts got me halfway to the boss, eight should only get me far enough to be killed by the boss.