Retro Gamer Ryan

RGR020 - Endor

2011-01-17T02:11:00.000-05:00

I know, it's much later than I said it'd be, but it's finally time to get back to Princess Alena's Adventure. Having proven ourselves by retrieving the Birdsong Nectar to restore the king's voice, we now have permission to use the travel door and visit Endor. The bridge just east of Endor is currently heavily damaged, so we can't go anywhere else at the moment. I guess that's the easy way of making sure we don't get ahead of the story.

Now what were we doing again?

Wow, that's a fast messenger!

AGGHHWHHGGHHWHH!!!
Oh, that wasn't so bad.

Uh, did you not just see us enter through it?

Hey, I remember you guys!

Well, not everyone's literate.

For most people, the big draw of Endor is the giant underground casino; they've got slot machines and poker tables, and the somewhat questionable practice of monster fighting. I don't know, it just seems sort of... barbaric.

BARBARIC!

Ahem... so yeah, the casino deals in coins rather than your normal gold. And you have to buy these coins from them, so they get your money immediately. It's like tokens at older arcades, or those new-fangled card things they've got at what passes for an arcade these days. It most likely serves a secondary purpose of allowing items to be purchased for insane amounts of money, thanks to the exchange rate of 10 gold per coin. In particular, the Metal Babble Shield costs 50,000 coins, which amounts to a half million gold. We played around a bit with the whole gambling thing, but decided not to waste too much time, since we're really here for the tournament.

Now why did we want to come here?

The first step is admitting you have a problem.

Is this one of those casino
buffet-type deals?

Ugh, not another one of these guys.

And you'll lose it all tomorrow, I bet.

I see, get the money up front. Clever...

Yes, that's how it works.

Video poker... I'm sure this will end well.

This seems somehow inappropriate.

Yes, let it ride. That always works.

Spoken like a true addict.

So go kill some monsters; it's good money!

Yeah, we'll get some
logo mugs and Silly Bandz!

Ah, so it's like a pachinko parlor.

And by luck, you mean money.

You make it sound so depressing.

I want items, but I have... no coin.

Is that why you're not doing it?

Beyond Endor's castle stands a massive Coliseum, where the tournament is held. Before moving on to the tournament, we visited the castle, where we learned of the mighty warrior Necrosaro. People seem to generally fear him, and with a name like that, it's not hard to see why. We then spoke with the king and princess, who were put into an uncomfortable position by a declaration made by the king, stating that the winner of the tournament would receive the princess' hand in marriage.

I do know. I hear earlier.

He's a gambling addict. Guess.

Ooh, I hope we're not too late!

That's some skillful foreshadowing.

It'd be easier if you had a decent printer.

Maybe he just likes violence.

The world is ending, duh.

You could just make a sign and leave.

Ooh, I'll bet the
Stones of Sunlight are... wait.

Figures he's inside the castle.

Those are the only two choices?

Security's awfully lax around here.

I'll bet he's loads of fun, though.

Really? It doesn't sound so bad.

So he's assembling an
extermination team...

Maybe we can team up... heh.

Will she take his name?

Will we get to wear camouflage?

Do you keep using the
same water? Eww...

He'll beat you up!

I could tell, what with the king and all.

Only if it's significant.

Did you just say wipe?

Maybe, but it's pretty cool.

I'll win, but not for you.

You can't just give the winner money instead?

I guess it's a good thing this tournament will be won by a woman.

Just a Couple More Weeks

2010-10-24T19:48:00.003-04:00

Hey all, I've had a lot going on these past few months, and it's not over yet. But in a couple of weeks, everything will start to settle down, and I'll finally have the time and energy to return to relatively regular posting. I've got plenty (and I mean PLENTY) of Dragon Warrior IV material to post, and then we'll see about maybe getting started on one of those extra features I mentioned way back when.

But right now, I have to finish packing! See you mid-November!

RGR020 - The Silenced King

2010-08-11T20:21:00.000-04:00

Well, the work-related stuff I mentioned in my last tweet has more or less worked itself out now. The good news is that I should have some extra time to work on new posts and get back into the game. I'll let you work the bad news out for yourself, not that it really concerns anyone but me. Okay, let's get back to Alena's adventure!

The southern desert that guy in Frenor mentioned was quite a bit smaller than we expected, so it wasn't hard to find the little bazaar going on. For all intents and purposes, it's a town. It's got an inn along with the normal set of shops, so I'm calling it a town. A few people here mentioned Endor, so I think we'll be making our way there soon. We found a strange item called a gum pod in a jar, which it turns out is actually supposed to be a clump of horse... output, so to speak. Nintendo's censors strike again!

We were actually having a pretty good time, but that all changed when we ran into a castle guard from Santeem, who begged us to return to the castle immediately. Of course, we don't listen, so we hung out near the bazaar for the remainder of the day leveling up, and then settled in for a good night's sleep before setting out for home.

Awesome, let's buy some sandy junk!

What, you guys don't have maps out here?

What makes these jars so rare?

Eww...

This is your fault, isn't it?

We'd be happy to take some off your hands.

Can't it wait until tomorrow?

They smell better than the Gum Pod, at least.

Alena doesn't just WATCH tournaments.

And I'll be winning it.

Indigenous things we killed.

That can't be comfortable.

So you came from the stars?

But only in tiny deserts.

You have to have a door to be closed.

But we want more delicious meals!

Back at Santeem castle, we were shocked to learn the king had lost his voice. Well, maybe shocked isn't the term I'd use, but we certainly didn't expect him to suddenly shut up. We were pointed in the direction of the shed behind the castle, where old man Goz lives. I'm assuming he's a groundskeeper of some sort, but the chancellor didn't say, so he might just be some creepy old guy who lives in a shed.

Goz sent us over to Surene village to see Marone, who had once lost his voice, assuming he'd know what to do. Marone told us about the Birdsong Nectar, an elven medicine of some sort that helped him recover his voice. Of course, the Birdsong Nectar was only available at the desert bazaar; but when we tracked down the guy who sold it, we learned he had run out long ago, and now the only way we could possibly find any would be to climb a tower to the west, where elves are said to play.

NO SEGUE!

How is that awful?

How convenient, now
that I have that key.

Yeah, ................... right back at ya.

It's a secret to everyone.

Welcome to out of the loop!

Ugh, I hate that guy.
His lyrics are terrible.

Walking in circles, tra la la...

You could go back and check, you know.

At some point in every quest, there is a tower.

The tower was difficult, but relatively uneventful. As expected, the enemies were much stronger, and had a habit of attacking in large groups. We died several times along the way, but eventually reached the top of the tower, where we found a nice little garden of flowers, along with two elf girls. They weren't happy to see us, and ran away as soon as they could. Luckily, one of them dropped a small vial of Birdsong Nectar during the escape, and it wasn't important enough for them to double back for it.

We rushed back to the king with Birdsong Nectar in hand, and as soon as we gave it to him, his voice returned. He explained, in somewhat awkward English, that he'd had a terrible dream over and over again involving some kind of monster wreaking havoc on the world. As soon as he decided to tell someone about the dreams, his voice disappeared, no doubt the work of some evil curse.

Fine, I didn't want to
go to Endor anyway.

Let's capture some elves!

What welcoming decor.

So you just wander around here?

Indigenous things that kill us.

This tower...

seems to...

go on...

Oh, we're at the top.

Elves are such snobs.

But their loss is our gain!

Oh no, not the Evil World!

Yeah, I always forget my dreams too.

Oh, I'm sure they're nothing.

Now that the king has officially given us permission to go wherever we want, we'll be heading straight for the portal to the east that leads to Endor.

I've got a tournament to win.

Happy Independence Day!

2010-07-04T22:01:00.003-04:00

To all my fellow American readers, it's roughly fireworks time, so I'll wish you all a quick happy 4th of July and be done. The next post isn't quite ready, but I might be able to get it together to post tomorrow night. But enough about that, go watch and/or set off some fireworks!

RGR020 - The Golden Bracelet

2010-06-27T23:05:00.001-04:00

I said I'd get a post out there this weekend, and I've made good on my promise. So don't be mad, okay? After all, one post per month is still better than none, right? At this rate, I might finish the game in five years or so. Anyway, on to the game!

After a short hike (yes, a short hike that took a month), we reached the town of Frenor, where we were shocked to learn that we were apparently already there. Someone posing as the Princess of Santeem was in town, and everyone was doing their best to attend to this princess' every need. Of course, this meant they didn't have time to deal with some random visitors from out of town, so we couldn't even get a room at the inn.

About the only person willing to give us the time of day was a scruffy man who told us about the Golden Bracelet, a bracelet--presumably made of gold--that was the town's greatest treasure. And, like every greatest treasure, it made them miserable, making enemies of friends and all that, so they sealed it away in a cave to the south. You can be sure we're going to have to go fetch that bracelet for one reason or another.

Oh yeah, we were going to a town.

It'll involve very little going.

What's with the crazy talk, old man?

Why don't you ASK ME?

I beg to differ.

No, but I know where the princess is.

Wait, should I be offended?

Don't be creepy.

This sounds kind of important.

You already did. You can't take it back.

We decided to pay this "princess" a visit, to see if she needed to be roughed up or just threatened, but just as we entered the second floor of the inn, a pair of kidnappers appeared and took off with the impostor! At this point, it was hard to tell whether the kidnappers were in league with the fake princess, or if they actually thought she was the real Princess of Santeem. In any case, we were asked to help rescue the fake princess, and according to the ransom letter the kidnappers had delivered, rescuing her will require us to go fetch that Golden Bracelet we learned about not ten minutes earlier.

Funny how that worked out, eh?

Unhand that... uh... princess?

Yes?

Why does everyone say
"Gasp!" around here?

*sigh* That's not how these things work.

Yes, of course, the bracelet.

She's not really a princess, you know.

Aha, so you're in on it!

Yes, I'm so sure.

The Southern Cave wasn't far from the town, though the monsters around these parts are a little tougher than we're used to. Luckily, we spent plenty of time gathering experience and money, and were already well-equipped for the journey. The cave itself wasn't very exciting; a few new monsters, some dead-ends, and a couple of twisty paths. As expected, we found the Golden Bracelet at the end of the longest path into the deepest tunnel of the cave, and quickly brought it back to Frenor to exchange for the princess-like object.

The kidnappers were happy to have the Golden Bracelet, and took off immediately once we handed it off to them. The not-actually-princess, who revealed that she was actually an actress named May, thanked us for saving her by giving us the Thief's Key, which works out pretty well, since you know how we love us some keys. The following morning, everything was back to normal, though some people were a little depressed that they hadn't actually met a real princess. I guess that continues to be all funny and ironic.

Super Saiyan Snakes!

All right, let's find this stupid bracelet.

Blah blah cave yadda yadda.

That was easy enough.

I feel like a Russian spy!

You're a terrible kidnapper.

Yay, we saved the... lady.

Leave the princessing to the professionals.

Well, you're still a crazy old man.

Yeah, really... oh, wait.

Well, I guess we're heading south now.

Yeah, that other guy just told me.

A comma? What a refined dog!

Aw, man...

We got a tip from a couple of people about a desert bazaar going on to the south, so we're going to check it out and see if we can't at least get some new weapons.

And when we get there, with any luck, you'll read about it in less than a month.

A Post is Coming...

2010-06-24T22:10:00.002-04:00

...sometime this weekend. I promise!

RGR020 - An Offering

2010-05-29T12:41:00.000-04:00

After a relatively short hike, we reached the village of Tempe, nestled in a little mountain alcove. The people there have a serious problem in the form of a monster of some sort who demands regular offerings of the village's young women. I don't know if the monster eats the women or what, but you can safely assume whatever it does with them isn't good. Next up on the chopping block (so to speak) is Nina, the village chief's daughter. It's a real shame, too, since she was supposed to be getting married soon.

Of course, given my propensity to destroy every monster I see, it's only natural that I'd volunteer to put an end to this one. No one else in the village seems to be brave enough to challenge the monster, so it's up to us to stop this horrible cycle of sacrifice and return safety and peace of mind to the young women of Tempe.

Besides, the monster's blocking our passage north.

This must be the place.

Assuming she'd have been born somewhere else.

I think the sacrifice part is worse.

Uh, I guess so.

Oh look, a test of strength!

Just keep walking...

I'll bet he won't help us
fight the monsters.

Sounds awfully pervy to me.

Don't worry, we've got your back.

Or let the girl beat up the monsters. Wuss.

According to the village shaman, the monster only appears once a girl has been given as an offering, so it looks like we won't quite be able to brute force our way through this. Instead, we'll simply become the next offering. The litter the people use for offerings looks pretty small, but we ought to be able to squeeze in if we pretend it's a clown car. Then, once the monster shows its face, we'll break said face.

Nice segue.

You guys have this all figured out, I see.

Who the what now?

I don't think we're all going to fit...

We haven't done anything yet.

Rim shot?

Easier said than done, I suppose. The monster, a Chameleon Humanoid, showed up with two Rabidhounds in tow. He looked an awful lot like Saro's Shadow, but I'm chalking that up to ROM capacity limitations rather than foreshadowing. Also, maybe a little laziness on Akira Toriyama's part.

Anyway, the battle itself was pretty tough; no one seemed to have any sort of special attacks (though the Chameleon Humanoid was able to do some healing), but they were strong. Luckily, we've got a healer on our side too, so we were able to hold out long enough to finish off the Rabidhounds, and then concentrate everything we had on our main target for the win.

The news of our victory (which, I'm sure, everyone could have seen from where they all were standing) spread quickly, and the whole town was ecstatic. Everybody was celebrating, and even the item shop owner got into the spirit by reopening the item shop. After a quick weapon upgrade (Boomerangs for everyone!), we triumphantly marched north, into the mountain valley that would lead us to the next town, Frenor.

I missed the opportunity to get a screenshot of the monsters, but if you really want to know what they look like, there are plenty of images out there.

Oh no, he brought doggies!

Oops, you blinked.

The village is 50 feet away.

Actually, he's a pile of little chunks now.

I kinda figured.

You guys probably could've taken him.

Yes, this statement is now correct.

I could get used to this hero stuff.

All right, but if I see
any Wookiees, I'm gone.

Business as usual, eh?

Do they have a monster
for me to kill too?

Onward to Frenor!

You know, we should have asked the Chameleon Humanoid what he was doing with the girls before we killed him.

RGR020 - The Next Adventure

2010-05-22T02:02:00.001-04:00

I've always dreamed of being a princess.

Kind of a weak introduction, isn't it?

Yep, I'm bad at keeping up with gaming. That modern game I mentioned? Beat it, immediately started the sequel. But now the sequel's beaten, so maybe I'll be able to focus better on Dragon Warrior IV. I know it's wishful thinking at this point, but the pace I keep is my own, so if I want to speed up, I'll speed up. If I can manage to actually make some posts, that is.

Anyway, back to the game. Chapter 2 follows the adventure of Princess Alena, a tomboy princess from the kingdom of Santeem. She wants nothing more than to venture out into the world and prove her strength, but the king won't allow her to leave the castle. He's just concerned for her safety, since there are all kinds of scary monsters lurking outside, but that's exactly why she wants to go. Everyone around her, including her tutor, Brey, and servant Cristo, keep urging her to give up on her dream and stay in the safety of the castle.

Of course, it wouldn't be much of an adventure if she listened to everyone and stayed put. Fortunately, she recently kicked a gaping hole in the wall of her room, which is now under repair. Since the wall repair guy only seems to know how to use wood and nails, all he can manage is to cover the hole. So, with one good hard kick, Alena is able to sneak her way out of the castle.

Yeah, like you'll be able to keep me here.

He's not sexist, just overprotective.

Yeah, yeah... but I'm still leaving.

Fair enough; it's all your fault!

You do know I live here, right?

Is this your first day here?

It's my wall. I'll do what I want with it.

You're wasting your time.

Eww... I'll bet he's drooling a little.

I'm not so sure.

Let's go protest against discrimination!

It'll be ready when you COOK IT YOURSELF.

At least this guy recognizes me.

And she'll promptly break those hands.

Hey now... looks like someone
has a crush...

Oh, but you know it will.

Flimsy walls are no match for me!

Hello there, roof kitty!

Sneak might not be the most appropriate word, since Brey and Cristo quickly catch up with Alena outside, and, realizing they can't stop her, decide instead to join her. From this point on, the king finally understands that this journey is very important to her, so he allows her to freely leave the castle as she wishes.

At this point, I spent some time fighting the weak monsters around the castle in order to gain experience and gold for weapon and armor upgrades. You know, like I always do. The nearby village of Surene has a fair selection of beginner's equipment, including things for Brey (a wizard), and Cristo (a cleric). We met a wandering poet named Marone there who kept coming up with these lame lyrics involving whatever he happened to be looking at.

We stuck around until nightfall, but there wasn't much of importance going on. Most people were sleeping and Marone was singing about things he saw in the sky, so we decided to turn in for the night. When we began to explore the area the next morning, we happened upon a sign that pointed us eastward, toward a village called Tempe. There's nothing but shoreline and mountains in every other direction, so we'll be heading east.

That's more like it!

Well, that's a good start.

So this is what the outside
world looks like...

Remind me not to tell you any secrets.

So there's some nice
equipment here then?

Uhh... I guess not.

But she's a nun.

And you're a nun.

Too bad you don't have a
day job to not quit.

I recommend you watch your mouth.

Watch out, she's a snake!

Since when?

Seriously, you make money off this?

I wish he could write better lyrics.

You're on your own there, pal.

Gosh, the world is so big!

And so, Alena's adventure begins as she and her companions hike eastward toward the village of Tempe. Check back soon for the next exciting installment of Retro Gamer Ryan: Dragon Warrior IV: Chapter 2 Edition!

RGR020 - Saro's Shadow

2010-04-27T21:03:00.001-04:00

Darn it, I said I'd be better about making these posts on time, and here I go again falling behind. Truth be told, I'm playing a few games at once right now, mostly non-retro, and I'm not good with the whole concentration thing. Anyway, it's finally time for another post:

Within the children's secret playground, I found nothing but an old well. But as I approached the well, a voice called out, beckoning me to jump in. The voice continued to guide me within the cavern at the bottom of the well, but I was feeling exploratory, so I chose not to listen. There were a couple of minor treasures here and there, along with a nice new set of stronger monsters, which I noticed only appeared when I strayed from the path the voice led me along.

Deep within the cavern, I met a kind Healer named Healie--yes, I know, very creative--who wanted nothing more than to become human. He seems to be under the impression that he can become human if he makes enough human friends. I'm not about to argue, though, since he's a Healer, and he's in my party now. I have no control over him in battle, but he does tend to cast Heal pretty reliably as needed.

After wandering for a bit too long, we eventually reached the end of the last path available to us. Inside a chest at the end of that path we found the Flying Shoes, which explains a couple of things I've been trying to wrap my head around. I tried using them right away, but they apparently don't work inside caves, what with the ceilings and all. So we backtracked to the part of the path that led outside, returned to Izmit to rest, and then tried the shoes again.

But it's dark and it smells funny...

Wait, which way?

You should probably just
draw arrows on the walls.

Your logic is mind-blowing.

Things like this really impress Healie.

Just $129.95 at Foot Locker!

Oh, so they're actually shoes that fly?

This is going to hurt...

Instantly, we were both flung through the air, landing on top of Loch Tower, that mysterious tower to the west of Izmit surrounded by a moat. Once inside, we noticed a monster harassing a small child, so we knew we were in the right place. That monster had lots of friends, though, so we had some difficult battles ahead of us. We scoured every inch of the tower for treasure on the way down, and had to make a few trips, since Healie can be a bit unreliable at times. I gained a few levels along the way, so I guess I can't complain.

We encountered another of the Royal Soldiers within the tower, who wasn't long for this world. Before he died, he managed to reveal the monsters' plot to us: it turns out that their ruler is going to revive soon, but a prophecy says a hero will appear to destroy him. That hero should be a child at this point, so the monsters have been taking all the children (and most likely killing them) in order to prevent the prophecy from being fulfilled.

*oof* Hmm... that wasn't so bad.

Unhand that brat, you fiend!

They're much tougher than they look.

I hope Healie appreciates the irony here.

Everyone loves Healie!

Mmm... Bantam.

Now pay attention, this is important.

Sorry, ceiling, didn't see you there.

I really hope this isn't a trap...

I'm the Hero! Treat me badly! ...like that?

Then it's not really a door, is it?

Well, I have no business with a creepy tentacle monster!

Finally, at the bottom of the tower, we found the local leader of the monsters, an impish little wizard type by the name of Saro's Shadow. He was surprisingly strong for his size, but Healie held out as long as he could to keep us healed while I hacked away at him. Healie didn't make it to the end of the fight, but thanks to him, I survived just long enough to deal the finishing blow. Thankfully, we were healed by some mysterious force after defeating Saro's Shadow, so we had an easy time climbing back up the tower to jump over the moat and return to Izmit.

The people in the village were thrilled to see their children returned safely, though the children who had learned of the revival of the Ruler of Evil were pretty spooked about it. But since there's nothing we can really do about that right now, we decided to head back to Burland and report to the king. As you can imagine, he was pleased to hear the children had been rescued, and offered Ragnar a reward of his choosing.

This Ruler of Evil stuff was really weighing on Ragnar's mind, so in lieu of an actual reward, he wished to be allowed to begin searching for the hero in order to help and protect him. The king was happy to oblige, and handed out a fairly large chunk of experience points to help him on his way.

No, that's not what I wish.

These next few turns had better count.

And they did!

He actually said "Gasp!" at the end.

And now everybody loves Ragnar!

Kid, I barely know what's going on.

I don't like you.

If you were young, I wouldn't even exist.

Please, waiting is what he does best.

All that experience and I only gained one level.

Yeah, good luck with that.

Not quite a cliffhanger, but I'll take it.

And that marks the end of chapter 1! Chapter 2 will begin as soon as possible; I'm at the end of one of the less-than-retro games I'm playing now, and will probably be done with another pretty soon. That'll leave me with more time for Dragon Warrior IV.

So, assuming I don't start playing several more games, updates should be a little more frequent.

RGR020 - Alex & Flora

2010-04-07T19:27:00.003-04:00

I needed a good night's sleep before departing for my trek back to Burland, so I stopped by the inn to rest. In the morning, I gave the town another investigative once-over, and was told by one of the children that the innkeeper's son, Pocos, flew away. I had already learned from the innkeeper that Pocos was playing with some "funny shoes" when he disappeared, and I think there's a connection. That is, if the kid was telling the truth.

Actually, I was already here.

That sounds serious.

That would explain the pencils,
books, and... dirty looks.

Yes way?

He went that way.

That's also great!

I'm having a hard time believing you.

Fwha?

We already did that.

I already wondered that.

Oh yeah, I've got to go get your wife.

Chosen for what?

Tell that to the guy hiding in the bushes.

I imagine they want kids.

Tell me about it.

Funny ha-ha, or funny strange?

Armed with what little information I got from the people of Izmit, I started off on my way back to Burland to tell Flora of Alex's imprisonment. She begged me to take her to Izmit, though I didn't really have much of a choice. Having gained so much experience fighting my way back and forth, I found my third trip through the cave fairly easy. Not that Flora was of any help; she stayed out of sight during battles.

Once we reached Alex's cell in Izmit, I stood back and watched as Flora helped Alex regain his lost memory, either by kissing or smacking him. I'm actually not sure which. Once he came to, Alex told me a rumor he had heard from the children about a secret playground near the village, four steps south and four steps east of the signpost. I left the two of them to their devices, stocked up on supplies, and headed out to investigate this secret playground.

Way to fail early.

Okay, but you have to help with the monster-slaying.

Yep, I see you're making lots of progress.

That wasn't so bad, now was it?

At least I got a clue out of it.

Here we go...

It seems like it'd be best if I teamed up with some of my fellow Royal Soldiers, but they're all just wandering around being worthless. It's like I'm the only one who knows what I'm doing.

But then, I guess that's what makes me the star of the chapter.

RGR020 - The Town of Izmit

2010-04-05T20:03:00.004-04:00

Happy Ryan slime is happy. And Ryan. And a slime.

After fighting a fair number of monsters outside the castle, night fell, as night tends to, and I returned to the castle town to see if any new people were out and about. Little had changed, though I learned there's a man trying to woo Flora in her husband's absence, which is a bit suspicious. The shops were closed and the king was asleep, but I still had plenty of awake left in me, so I started off toward the cave. Time passes quickly around these parts, so it was already morning by the time I reached the cave entrance. The path through the cave was pretty straightforward, with the only branches leading to small rooms with treasure, so I was back outside before I knew it.

This doesn't seem too effective.

Whoa, that was quick.

He hasn't been gone THAT long.

You, sir, are an opportunist.

Do I look like your husband's keeper?

When you put it that way, yes.

You're a depressing guy.

I wouldn't imagine it would be.

Having to search for your child
makes sleep impossible.

It also resembles last Tuesday's weather.

Your dreams are lame, sir.

At least they keep the cave tidy.

You know, he really is kinda cute.

Could've fooled me.

On the other side, a nearby tower loomed over the land, surrounded by a moat. There doesn't appear to be a way in from outside, so I'll probably have to find some sort of tunnel. It was night again by the time I arrived at the tiny town of Izmit, so the children were asleep and the adults more willing to talk about the disappearances. The school staff suspects the children know what's going on, and just aren't talking. One little boy revealed that a man named Alex is being held in Izmit's prison; he was arrested for stealing bread. He apparently acts like a frightened child, and has lost his memory. I seem to remember the name Alex, but what was the significance? Oh, yeah; it was the name of Flora's missing husband. Imagine that!

I'll bet the kids are in that tower.

Play in traffic instead!

Give me a chance to answer, jeez!

I don't like the sound of that one bit.

Have you tried asking them?

But... I still think we should ask them.

Dude, she's a NUN!

That frightens me a little.

*shudder*

Get ahold of yourself, man!

Now that I've found Alex, I guess the next step is to return to Burland and let Flora know. Then we'll figure out what to do about bringing him home.

I told you I'd end up running into him.

RGR Game #020: Dragon Warrior IV

2010-04-02T18:51:00.001-04:00

Ooh, a castle in the sky... Laputa?

Slimes, how I've missed you!

I'd be furious if I weren't just starting.

Curse you, gender-neutral name!

Just like I promised, it's time for game #20: Dragon Warrior IV! Unlike previous games in the Dragon Warrior series, this one follows the quests of several different adventurers, all of whom must conquer their own foes and achieve their own goals before finally uniting in the end to save the world. The game is divided into five chapters, each of which is like its own little complete game; the star of each chapter even begins at level 1 with no items or gold carried over.

Dragon Warrior IV is also the first game in the series to have no connection to the legend of Erdrick. It's like everything is starting over fresh!

Grab your popcorn, kids!

But I thought I was Ryan...

Ignoring kings is a
hobby of mine, actually.

Where's John Walsh when you need him?

Chapter 1 begins at Burland Castle, where the king has summoned all of his Royal Soldiers to investigate a rash of possible child abductions. The children of the nearby town of Izmit have been disappearing one by one, and people suspect it might be the work of monsters. Ragnar, the star of the chapter and one of these Royal Soldiers, begins his investigation at once.

Of course, given that I'm in control of Ragnar, the investigation is going to have a slow start. The castle is large, but what few treasures there are mock me from behind locked doors. So, after talking to everyone I can get to, I headed out into the town that surrounds the castle.

I'll find them; it's my duty
as star of this chapter.

Sorry, I just like talking to people.

I prefer Medical Steaks and Potatoes.

By the fourth game, this is common knowledge.

No, but your buddy there might.

Yeah, I know. I work here too.

Wait, they let the kids play
around monsters?

The other soldiers are incompetent.

Yeah, but it makes level grinding easier.

That's time for ya.

You're literate then, huh? Lucky.

Ooh, no more tiny castles!

The first thing I noticed upon exiting is that the castle itself is actually quite large on the outside, larger at least than the tiny castles from the previous game. I ran into a woman named Flora in the castle town, whose husband went missing. I guess I'm the designated search and rescue guy, so she's asked me to report to her if I find him. Then again, if she's talking to me about this, I'm sure to run into him along the way.

The town of Izmit sits on the other side of a river, and the only way to cross that river is via a nearby cave. No doubt the cave is full of monsters. The weapon and armor shops in Burland don't have much, but since I'm just starting out, it'd probably be best if I spent some time leveling up and saving to buy the best equipment available before going anywhere near that cave. Especially since the king's kindness to his people has resulted in my under-equipment.

We'll see how long this lasts.

That was four paces more than I expected.

We should kill monsters to
supplement taxes.

Why a cave? Wouldn't a bridge be faster?

Amazing!

You know, I'm kinda busy.

Hmm... I'll have to confiscate these.

Yeah, clouds are spooky.

So what do kings do around here then?

Give me a break, I just started!

Here, slimes... I've got a
surprise for you...

Ah, the memories...

And so, Ragnar's quest to find the missing children of Izmit begins.

I'm planning on pacing myself so that there are several smaller posts for each chapter, but we'll see how that goes. I tend to take a screenshot of every piece of dialogue, so a game of this size will most likely wind up over a thousand screenshots strong. I suppose I'll have to trim that down a bit, since I use a three-digit counting scheme, and that means no more than 999 screenshots.

Besides, fewer screenshots means fewer captions, and that means less work for me.

RGR019 - The Final... Wait, What?

2010-03-30T19:46:00.000-04:00

I know, I know... it's been almost a month since the last Whomp 'Em post, and you're just itching to see how it all ends, right? In case you've forgotten, and are too impatient to scroll down one post, we left off with Soaring Eagle's victory over the Secret Guardian and his procurement of the sixth totem, the Dart. This seems to have angered something in the heavens, and as a result, a hole was ripped open in the sky itself, revealing a column of light shining down on that conspicuous mountain in the center of the stage select screen. Inside the column, the final totem rose up from the mountain, and Soaring Eagle followed it upwards to the site of the Final Test.

Note: Since completing the game, I've read a couple of FAQs that all called this final totem the Death Branch, but I'm certain it's a case of the first person getting it wrong, and everyone else just assuming he/she was right and copying what was already written. In any case, when I look at the totem's image, as well as the projectile it allows Soaring Eagle to fire, I see a dragon. Call it what you want, but I'll be calling it the Dragon totem.

Yeah, it makes my eyes hurt too. Sorry.

Oh, so I buy 6, and get one free?

The Final Test is comprised of a set of smaller tests, each of which is connected to the next by a vertical shaft lined with clouds. When you're this high up, I guess the clouds are solid, but springy, since Soaring Eagle bounces on them. The first part consists of dark, dangerous clouds, along with giant pillars, all guarded by miniature versions of the Ice and Secret Guardians. The Dart helps Soaring Eagle climb the pillars, while the Spear Whirlwind is necessary to break through weak spots in some pillars.

After ascending the first cloud-line shaft, we're greeted by pillars of ice and pits full of what appears to be the same electric seaweed you might have seen in the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game on the NES. The Dart comes in handy once again, as does the Fire Wand, which melts parts of certain pillars. Here, the enemies to worry about are miniature Water and Forest Guardians, though they act just like the guardians from the first area. As much as I wanted to use the Cloud here, I found it was too slow to avoid the Forest Guardians that patrolled the seaweed pits.

The third part of the test throws a bit of a curve ball: ZERO GRAVITY. After stepping off the first platform, Soaring Eagle begins to float up and down, bouncing off any surface he touches. He can only use his spear to push himself to the left or right, and is otherwise at the mercy of the many platforms and columns that line the way. Gas clouds pursue him through this section of the stage, and since the upward and downward aerial attacks don't work properly here, the clouds must be avoided. My first attempt at the stage ended here, mainly because I was almost out of life by the time I reached the third area.

This is why they call him Soaring Eagle.

The dark parts of the clouds hurt for some reason.

I could use a helmet right about now.

Hey, a use for the Fire Wand!

It's like a pink frog-filled nightmare.

Aren't cocoons supposed to NOT move?

*ahem* Excuse me.

This level is HARD.

I spent some time practicing my jumping maneuvers on the earlier sections of the stage, and became fairly adept at bouncing off the little guardians, but it still took a few more attempts before I managed to reach the fourth and final section of the stage. I actually made it to the boss a couple of times (we'll get to him later), dying over and over again before finally deciding to collect the rest of the gourds I'd need to fill out my life gauge.

The fourth section made the task a simple one, since the two enemy types there (little Fire and Secret Guardians) both attack by jumping at Soaring Eagle. They take two or three hits to defeat, and are stopped in mid-air when hit. So I found a comfortable spot and then moved back and forth, destroying a series of respawning enemies until I had my twelfth heart. The strategy also allowed me to refill my life gauge, and because I found three magic potions along the way, I was ready to put an end to the final boss.

I fight fire with Spear Whirlwind.

Behold, the final gourd!

Final Boss: Majin

Let's not kid ourselves anymore; this game was originally about Son Goku saving the world from the terrible Majin, and since the instructions carefully avoid mentioning anything about what actually happens in the Final Test, we'll just assume they didn't know what to do with him. So he's still the Majin, but now it's Soaring Eagle who has to take him on.

The battle begins with the Majin lurking in the shadows, using his evil magic to summon one of the largest enemies from each stage in an attempt to wear Soaring Eagle down. After the lesser enemies have been taken out, the Majin begins his assault. He creates four spheres that quickly move outward diagonally, bouncing off every edge of the screen, and then he fades out and reappears in another position in the room. The spheres are difficult to dodge with everything going on, and I found myself getting hit by nearly every one of them. Platforms also appear that float up and down, but I never bothered trying to jump on them, since the Majin takes damage no matter where you hit him.

And hitting him is the problem; though Soaring Eagle's spear does do damage, it would probably take twelve to sixteen hits to deplete one of those little circles that represent his life. That's why the Dragon totem is so important: one hit from it does one full circle of damage. However, each use of it also does a full heart of damage to Soaring Eagle. I wasn't worried this time, though; I was always weak when I reached this point before, but now I was full-powered. By the time I had finished off the Majin, I still had a potion left over, and almost a full life gauge.

As the ground trembled, the Majin began to crumble and fade away. Soaring Eagle then took to the skies once again, his quest complete. He returned to the Earth and held up the seven totems, and as the spirits of his ancestors watched from high above, flowers bloomed all around him as a celebration of his ascent into manhood.

See, I make it sound much more epic than it actually was.

Now, we finish this!

Beware my little dragon!

Ooh, holes AND a fade-out? I really won!

And so, Soaring Eagle returns to his home planet?

I like the little bow and smile at the end.

A whole staff roll of pseudonyms.

And that's it for Whomp 'Em! At least I managed to get it finished up by the end of March. And since this was the 19th game played through for the blog, I think it's finally time to get started with Dragon Warrior IV.

Hopefully, I'll be a little more timely with my posts for this one.

The Retro Gamer Ryan Page on Facebook

2010-03-29T18:11:00.002-04:00

In an attempt to... get with the times, so to speak, I've created a page on Facebook, which you can check out using the badge to the right. Check it out, become a fan, and speak your mind!

RGR019 - Finding My Bearings

2010-03-04T20:10:00.001-05:00

I was still feeling good after my win against the Magic Guardian, so I made another attempt on the Fire Test. Thanks to the fact that I've gathered more gourds and gained more hearts, I was able to make it to the boss with no problem.

Fire Test Boss: Fire Guardian

The Fire Guardian has two forms, beginning as a dark cloud of (most likely) noxious gas that floats around, body checking Soaring Eagle at every opportunity. After a while, the cloud dissipates, revealing a human-like body, completely engulfed in flames. In this form, the Flame Guardian quickly jumps around the screen with no regard for the safety of others. Sometimes, the jumps are high enough to duck under, but I wasn't able to get used to the timing of said jumps, so my first encounter with the Fire Guardian ended in death.

Next, I returned to the Ice Ritual, and had no trouble reaching the boss. Something a little unexpected happened this time, though: once I reduced his life to four units, he turned completely red. And then bumped into me. And then STOLE MY MAGIC POTION. Suddenly, he was full-powered again, and I was near death. I didn't stand a chance.

The next battle followed the same pattern, so on my third attempt, I decided to try to reach his chamber without a magic potion. I was used to his jumping pattern at that point, so I was able to hold my own against him without losing too much life. And when he turned red, there was nothing for him to take from me. So he stayed red all the way up to the moment I beat him.

I won the Cloud totem from the Ice Guardian (I don't know either), which allows me to create a little flying cloud that I can use as a platform. If you'll recall, I mentioned a couple of posts ago that this game originally starred Son Goku, so this totem would be Kinto'un.

Smells... brimstoney.

GETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAY!!!

I have nothing for you to take.

But you've got something for me!

I then tried the Secret Cliff again, and though I lasted a little longer this time against the Secret Guardian, it still wasn't quite enough. I had much better luck in the Sacred Woods, where I finally mastered the art of pressing up to block the falling bamboo spikes dropped by the Forest Guardian. With one of his trickiest attacks rendered ineffective, I had no problem defeating him and winning the Spear Whirlwind totem, which allows Soaring Eagle to spin his spear in front of him to deflect attacks and break certain blocks.

With only two stages left, it was time for me to face my fears and give the Fire Test another try. I was able to master the Fire Guardian's jumping pattern this time, and thanks to that, along with a few more hearts earned from gourds, I defeated the guardian this time. This earned me the Fire Wand totem, turning Soaring Eagle's spear into a little blowtorch, which appears to be another useless power.

Finally, it was time to take another shot at the Secret Cliff. The Secret Guardian was a piece of cake this time, only managing to hit me a few times as he bounced around the room. By defeating him, I obtained the Dart totem, which allows Soaring Eagle to throw spears. Now. Six stages in. I just now finally got my projectile weapon. Grr.

See, I learned!

And it looks like it paid off, too.

That trick won't work on me this time.

See?

What, you want to be friends now?

I don't think so.

Soaring Eagle has completed the six tests and won the six totems, so it's time to take on the Final Test. What challenges will he face? What horrible things lie in wait for him? Will he find enough gourds to fill out his life meter completely?

All these questions will be answered next time, as we experience the thrilling conclusion of Whomp 'Em!

RGR019 - You Win Some, You Lose Some

2010-02-26T19:45:00.000-05:00

Fresh off my two consecutive failures, I decided this time to check out the Magic Forest. The stage is a bit creepier than the others I've played so far, with the weird glowing puffy flower-things in the background, the bubbling pools of unknown magenta liquid, and of course... pink elephant bees. It actually reminds me a bit of the poisonous swamp from Crystalis, but Soaring Eagle seems to have no trouble breathing here.

After bouncing from branch to branch to cross the mysterious magenta swamp, Soaring Eagle must climb the tall bamboo-like stalks, both by using branches to bounce upward, and by riding on strange floating creatures that look an awful lot like flying jellyfish. Luckily, they seem to be harmless. After more obstacles, ominous hanging cocoons begin to appear in the background as the boss draws near.

Magic Forest Boss: Magic Guardian

The Magic Guardian begins the battle in the form of one of those cocoons in the background, dropping onto the ground, kicking up some harmful dust or powder, and then quickly rising up and out of sight, only to drop again somewhere else. The pattern is simple here, so it's easy to get in there and get a couple of hits in each time he drops. After several hits (he doesn't take damage in his cocoon, unfortunately), the cocoon disappears, revealing a man-sized moth, a Mothman if you will. In moth form, the Magic Guardian zips around the room, throwing powder in four directions each time he stops. His speed makes him a difficult target, since you have to get close to hit him. Luckily, I had a magic potion to spare going in (plus I gathered enough gourds to gain my fifth life heart), so I was able to last long enough to defeat him.

By defeating the Magic Guardian, I earned the Web totem, which, according to the manual, gives me the ability to catch an enemy in a web. In practice, I found it actually lets me catch an enemy, and then throw that enemy at other enemies. So it's kind of a projectile weapon, but fairly hard to use.

You guys see it too, right?

I wonder if it TASTES like fruit punch.

Blah blah Avatar blah blah...

Jackpot!

Peek-a-boo!

Are you a butterfly or a bee?

I see; you're a SUPERSTAR!

But I'm still taking your totem.

I chose to check out the Water Test next, since I wasn't confident the web would help with the previous stages. I quickly learned that Soaring Eagle can hold his breath FOREVER; long stretches of the stage are entirely underwater, and other than the occasional little group of bubbles, there's no evidence that Soaring Eagle even breathes. After fighting off some vaguely familiar octopi, snails and odd little blobby fish, the path leads upward, with fan-dancing manikins. You know, those little wooden figures artists use to help visualize poses.

Back, vile octopus!

This snail has ultra gripping power!

Soaring Eagle hates blobfish.

What? Manikins do fan dances all the time.

I didn't get much farther than that, so I moved on to the Secret Cliff next. Some cute little dragons guarded the entrance to some sort of palace, where carefully placed explosives made the going much slower. I ran into more manikins here, as well as a heavily-armored warrior who gave me a hard time. After riding floating platforms across a pit of spikes, I finally managed to reach another boss.

Secret Cliff Boss: Secret Guardian

Yowza. The Secret Guardian is a living wrecking ball, bouncing wildly around the room in an attempt to destroy all intruders, including me. Every now and then, he stops, reveals his head, arms and legs, and launches a long-range punch. I was pretty low on life when I entered his chamber, so I didn't last long.

Hey, flaming bird! Can I
get some help here?

Ooh, a tiny disjointed dragon!

'Cuz they're TNT... they're dynamite.

Why does he get a shield? No fair!

Nope, didn't make the jump.

Out of control wrecking ball!

I swear, one of these days I'll beat another level. Up next was the Ice Ritual. Things were kind of icy, though I was more concerned with the floating grabby hands and the giant eyeballs in the background. A couple of long drops down shafts lined with spikes and various disembodied limbs, punctuated with samurai duels, eventually led me to a final corridor full of purple slimes that helped me collect some gourds. At the end of the corridor, the ground simply ended, forcing me to drop down into the boss' chamber.

Ice Ritual Boss: Ice Guardian

I feel like I could take him, if only I could get the timing down. All the Ice Guardian does is hop back and forth, stopping only occasionally to attack. This attack consists of the screen flashing red, and the Ice Guardian splitting into four copies of himself, each of which flies out in a different direction. Once the copies rejoin, he resumes his hopping. He also uses this attack to retaliate whenever he's hit. Unfortunately, I found myself overwhelmed by the attack several times, and couldn't time my attacks to prevent his from hitting me, so this time, victory goes to the Ice Guardian.

On a bit of a side note, don't you think the Ice Guardian looks a little like the Shadow Statue from Ninja Gaiden?

Eww, more grabby hands!

Indian Brave vs. Samurai: Who will win?

And now a face to go with
the grabby hands!

Hurry, the purple blobs are closing in!

Haven't I seen you somewhere before?

I think I made him mad.

I returned to the Fire Test to see if I'd fare any better the second time through. I did not, so I then tried the Sacred Woods again, and was again defeated by the boss. He's pretty quick, and those bamboo spikes that fall from the ceiling keep catching me off-guard. I was getting frustrated at this point, but I fought on, this time back at the Water Test. I survived the manikins, blobfish and flaming birds, and made it to the boss with two magic potions at the ready.

Water Test Boss: Water Guardian

The Water Guardian is pretty tough, since he moves quickly and gives you no place to flee to. He begins the fight as a trail of water orbs that move along the floor, walls and ceiling. He then stops and shows his true form, that of a giant dancing pink frog in a cape. Evidence follows. He attacks by rushing at Soaring Eagle, spitting water like a cannon, and then returns to his other form to start the cycle again. I took a lot of damage, but thanks to the magic potions, I was able to just keep stabbing back until he dropped.

My victory over the Water Guardian earned me the Ice Crystal totem, which apparently lets me freeze enemies, perhaps to use them as platforms.

Oh no, he's gonna get me wet!

Uhh... care to dance?

I find your dancing inappropriate!

So I'm taking your totem and leaving!

This victory makes me feel like I'm finally making a bit of headway here, but I'm not going to let it get to my head. I fully expect to keep dying along the way, but I'm up to six hearts now, so it's just a matter of perseverence and patience. Once I've got a full set of hearts, everyone'd better watch out!

Heh, who am I kidding? This game is hard. I'll still be dying left and right, even with all twelve hearts.

RGR Game #019: Whomp 'Em

2010-02-15T18:07:00.002-05:00

This isn't offensive, right?

The mushrooms never saw him coming.

It's that time again, folks: time for another dose of retro gaming goodness! This time, the name of the game is Whomp 'Em for the NES. The game stars a young Native American gentleman (the manual calls him an "Indian Brave") named Soaring Eagle as he undergoes various trials and rituals, collecting totems for his bag. This premise doesn't explain the mysterious evil being in the background as the game begins, but there's a good reason for that: in Japan, the game was known as Saiyuuki World 2: Tenjoukai no Majin. That version starred Son Goku, who had to obtain a number of special powers in order to do battle with the titular majin, or demon, or whatever you want to call him.

The game begins with an unnamed introduction trial, where we learn how to control Soaring Eagle and his trusty spear. The B button makes him stab high or low, depending on whether or not he's ducking at the time. The A button makes him jump, and pressing up or down in mid-jump causes him to point his spear upward or downward. I've ready many people refer to Whomp 'Em as a Mega Man clone, but the noticeable lack of projectile weapons (for now, at least), coupled with the relative uselessness of the special weapons makes the comparison moot.

What an angry-looking silhouette!

Yeah, I don't know either.

Caution: Falling Mushrooms!

Eww, disembodied grabby hands!

It's gonna be one of those days...

Fear the tiny blue oni!

After completing the introductory test, which has no boss, we're brought to the stage select screen, where we can choose from six stages: The Sacred Woods, Magic Forest, Water Test, Fire Test, Ice Ritual, and Secret Cliff. Since the screen opens with the Sacred Woods selected, I decided to try that stage out first.

The Sacred Woods

The stage opens with some trees, as ought to be expected of woods, sacred or not. There are a number of seemingly one-legged, one-eyed, one-armed hopping green guys, but they're easily destroyed or avoided. After scaling a small cliff by hopping from branch to branch, pits of bamboo spikes try to slow Soaring Eagle down and distract him from the threat of other bamboo spikes falling from the trees. Beyond the spike pits (and a single bear), a tunnel leads downward into a deeper part of the woods, where crawling bugs and jumping snakes add to the challenge. Soaring Eagle then enters the hollowed-out trunk of a giant tree, conveniently decorated with inward-pointing branches that support his weight and allow him to climb almost to the top. Near the exit, some sort of mysterious energy causes small logs to float up and down, forcing Soaring Eagle to time his jumps carefully as he makes his way out onto a huge branch leading to the boss.

Sacred Woods Boss: Forest Guardian

Looking back, this guy is embarrassingly easy; he floats around a bit, drops some bamboo spikes, and uses a spinning leaf attack. I didn't realize at first that holding Soaring Eagle's spear above his head protected him from the falling spikes, and that would have been quite welcome knowledge. Unfortunately, without it, I was no match for the guardian's obvious pattern and easily blockable attacks. Instead of continuing with the Sacred Woods, I figured I'd try a different stage, this time choosing the Fire Test.

Do we really need two tree areas?

How do you like my pogo stick?

I don't think we're in America anymore.

Everybody do the Ferocious Bear!

Is this considered animal cruelty?

Jumping snakes? No fair!

This is not how trees work.

Nope, still not right.

He's a little teapot, apparently.

Not quite as painful as it looks.

Hadouken?

Why would I choose to start over?

As expected, everything is fiery there, even the sky. Hot volcanic rocks rain down as Soaring Eagle attempts to jump over lava pit after lava pit. Flaming birds dive-bomb him as he enters a cave, and spew little fireballs when killed. Needless to say, it's a tricky stage. A series of ladders leads up to higher levels, but jets of fire and more hot rocks make passage dangerous.

Have at you, unicorn goblin!

Would you believe it's a fire level?

WHY ARE THE BIRDIES MADE OF FIRE?

Mmm... popcorn.

Self-destruct initiated.

A little too dangerous, actually. I probably only made it halfway through the stage. Luckily, I'll slowly be gaining hit points, since the little gourds Soaring Eagle collects throughout his adventure boost his maximum HP little by little. Maybe next time I try this stage, I'll have twice the HP!

Then again, if four hearts got me halfway to the boss, eight should only get me far enough to be killed by the boss.

RGR018 - Tying Up Loose Ends

2010-01-17T15:55:00.002-05:00

The last password Mega Man ever gives you leads to the beginning of the castle, so you're forced to go back and fight through Wave Man and Toad Man's stages again. Wave Man and his stage get easier each time, and I think the same can be said of Toad Man. Having finally mastered the timing of his jumps, I was able to hit him with the Water Wave as he landed from every other jump. Hitting him prevents him from using his Rain Flush power, but since he jumped too far away on the odd-numbered jumps, he did have an opening to use it. Still, most of the damage I took was from him jumping right at me and landing on me. By beating Toad Man, I was able to complete my set of powers with the Rain Flush, as usual renamed the "Rain Weapon" by the Game Gear version of the game.

The last password you'll ever need... or get.

This picture is artificially naughty.

See? Water is super effective.

I can make it rain... I hate that song.

Instead of moving on to fight Dr. Cossack, as would have been the case with this castle in Mega Man 4, we're instead brought immediately to Dr. Wily's castle for the final stage, an exact replica of Quick Man's stage from Mega Man 2. With the exception of fewer enemies (most stages in this game have had fewer enemies than their counterparts in the original NES games), the final stage was just as nerve-wracking as the original, which you may remember was infamous for its deadly, screen-filling lasers. The lasers are here in full force, but I noticed something odd about them: getting hit initially by one of these lasers only does one point of damage, but hanging around in the beam for too long can still cause instant death. At least this gives you a chance to get out of each room alive even if you do get hit.

The lightning knocked out the castle's power.

I've got a bad feeling about this place...

And now I remember why!

Ooh, I like the place in red!

Pshaw! Your giant lasers don't scare me!

So I guess it's time to fight Quick Man, then.

Final Boss: Dr. Wily

Just before reaching the boss room, Mega Man zips away to a new mini-stage, a quick walk to a teleporter guarded by a single cannon. On the other side, Dr. Wily was waiting for a fight in his little one-man pod. That's right, no giant screen-filling robot to fight, no fighting all the previous bosses over again, just Dr. Wily. His pattern had him warping around the room, dropping two energy pulses that move in opposite directions upon reaching the floor, and then warping away, leaving four pulses in his wake that spin outward and back in. The toughest part about the battle is that he tends to appear just above Mega Man, not giving much of an opportunity to get away before the pulses hit. I tried several weapons against him, with little luck, so I wound up relying on the charged Mega Buster to beat him. I've since read that the Rain Flush is his weakness, and that's one I didn't try. I was forced to use my one and only E-Tank to refill my energy, but I managed to defeat him on my first attempt.

After blowing up Wily's pod, the scene changed to a view of Dr. Cossack's castle, strangely enough, as it was engulfed in explosions that caused the screen to fade to white, at which point I was informed that the mission was, in some way, perfect. I would have to disagree, with all the bugs and deaths and all, but Mega Man did save the day in the end, and that's what's important.

AGH! What just happened?

Where could this possibly lead?

Wait, no giant skull machine form?

Ow! Watch it with those things!

How dare you make me use my E-Tank!

One more shot, and...

Whoa, I think I killed him!

Oh, we're blowing up the first castle?

Well, I'd hardly call it perfect, but...

SHOOT HIM, MEGA MAN! DO IT!

So, after much unnecessary frustration, Mega Man for the Game Gear comes to a close. The game was plenty fun; if it hadn't been for the Bright Man bug, things would have gone totally smoothly.

I'm still not sure what I'm going to play next; Dragon Warrior IV is fast approaching, but there are a couple of things I want to take care of first.

RGR018 - Back on Track

2010-01-16T00:23:00.000-05:00

After countless failed attempts to manually duplicate the timing of the fated reset during playback, I gave up and started manually editing the recording to try to strip out everything just after the reset. Finally, I was able to get playback to synchronize again from the beginning, and can now move on with the rest of the game.

The second time around, Bright Man was kind of a pushover. I already knew he was weak against the Star Crash, so I just had to be careful about getting hit as he jumped around the room. He's much less prone to using his time stop attack in this version, preferring to use himself primarily as a weapon. I got hit a few times, but had no trouble starring him to death. By defeating Bright Man, I gained the Flash Stopper, which this game calls "Bright Weapon".

Now let's get it right this time...

No more of that buggy cheaty stuff, 'kay?

I'll destroy you with my... little star thingies!

That's not a helpful description.

Arbitrarily Chosen Fourth Boss: Napalm Man

Napalm Man's stage takes place in a jungle-type area, which may or may not be quite culturally insensitive. Robotic tigers try to pounce on you, and are surprisingly adept at jumping over your shots, though I'm pretty sure that's a coincidence based on my bad shot timing. The path then descends into a deep cavern lined with Metool-operated cannons that fire shots that look like bubble gum, along with shrapnel-filled missiles and a few different large humanoid robots. The final stretch is a series of pits with narrow footholds (some of which have become blind jumps, thanks again to the Game Gear's small screen), with vertical rocket enemies poised to knock you out of the air.

Napalm Man attacks with small bombs that explode on contact, and appear to contain no napalm whatsoever (napalm would stick to Mega Man, and keep on burning) as he jumps around the room trying to be as difficult a target as possible. Luckily, he's weak against the Flash Stopper, making most of his movements a waste. Beating him grants the Napalm Bomb, known here as "Bomb Weapon".

Finally, a boss with actual weapons!

Well played, robo-tiger. Well played.

Fear the bubble gum cannon!

Who put this giant meat tenderizer here?

Look! A cleverly-hidden energy tank!

I want a tiny copter like Sniper Joe's!

I should probably do something about the missile.

How do his tiny thighs support his weight?

Watch out for spikes, even if you can't see them.

Hmm... I hope there's something between these.

Just hand over the bombs like a good boy.

See, that was easy.

With the four Robot Masters out of the way, it's time for Mega Man to stage the final assault on Dr. Wily as usual. However, as the image of the castle (Dr. Cossack's castle from Mega Man 4) fades into view, we see that the path first leads to Wave Man, another Robot Master from Mega Man 5.

Fifth Boss: Wave Man

Wave Man's stage is unique and actually very fun, at least as you get closer to the end. The beginning is a gauntlet of big swinging spiked balls and broken pipes venting steam, leading to an area where Mega Man is forced to ride bubbles to reach a platform two full screens up (that's two full original NES screens, so a little over three Game Gear screens). Only large bubbles can support his weight for more than a second, but the small bubbles have to be used as stepping stones in order to cross from one side of the screen to the other, to avoid spiked ceilings. The fun begins after Mega Man reaches the top: an autoscrolling jet ski shoot-em-up! Buoys, jumping fish and other jet skiers attack from both sides, and a giant octopus mini-boss stands in the way of Mega Man's progress.

Wave Man waits on the other side of the jet ski course, brandishing his harpoon gun and tiny waterspouts. His pattern is simple, as he just creates a waterspout where Mega Man is standing, fires a harpoon, and then jumps over and over again. But timing jumps to avoid the waterspouts is trickier than you might expect. He has no weaknesses, though the charged Mega Buster does plenty of damage. Mega Man wins the Water Wave by beating Wave Man.

This doesn't seem quite right...

I guess I'm still hunting bad robots.

Steam or spiky steel ball:
which is more dangerous?

Ceiling spikes? I'm not falling for that again.

Jet ski duel!

Eight tentacles and you just shoot rocks?

Your harpoon... will be MINE!

That's not what I meant!

Fact: water is super effective against robots.

But I wanted harpoon weapon!

Sixth Boss: Toad Man

The path through the castle appears to be halfway done, as the second part leads to Toad Man, from Mega Man 4. The beginning of the stage takes place in a storm with strong winds that push Mega Man back when he jumps. Groups of birds that look an awful lot like flying penguins make dive bomb attempts while other little robots float down on umbrellas to attack. Inside, where it's drier, Mega Man encounters giant snails, waterfalls that interfere with his jumping, and cute little two-legged rat-raccoon hybrid bots.

Toad Man, as expected, spends most of his time jumping, but his special attack is the Rain Flush, a sudden downpour of acid rain that covers the screen and can't be avoided. He's weak against the Water Wave, but hard to hit since the Water Wave moves along the ground, and Toad Man spends most of his time in the air. I was on my last life when I reached this stage, and found one extra life along the way, but it wasn't quite enough, and I found myself staring at my first Game Over screen.

So the castle is just two more stages?

Yeah, keep bringing out the winners.

Caution: Low-Flying Penguins.

It's cute, but what is it?

I didn't know snails could do angry.

Eek! Killer jumpy-fish!

Prepare to croak... yeah, that was pretty lame.

And at the hands of a toad, no less.

I've got my password ready to go, but I think that's enough for tonight. Tune in tomorrow for an extra special episode of Mega Man!

Okay, so there's nothing extra special about it, but tune in anyway.

RGR Game #018: Mega Man

2010-01-15T00:46:00.001-05:00

The power of Mega Man in the
PALM OF YOUR HAND!

Aww... look at his cute little dangly feets!

Sorry for the many delays, but it's finally time to move on to the next game, Mega Man for the Game Gear. Though Mega Man built a reputation as a third-party mascot of sorts for Nintendo, that doesn't mean he never tried out any other systems. I mean, he's got a remake of the first three games on the Genesis in Europe and Japan (which is called the Mega Drive in both regions, so it's all so fitting). So here we have the Blue Bomber's one and only Game Gear outing, an awkward mix of elements from the 4th and 5th games in the series. The game was developed by a company called Freestyle, but it's definitely got the Mega Man feel down pat.

Thanks to the superior graphical capabilities of the Game Gear, the backgrounds and sprites benefit from increased color palettes, though Mega Man himself looks a bit strange with the extra shading and that little belly button dot he's rocking. Everything is the exact same size it was in the NES games, but due to the Game Gear's small screen, vertical scrolling was added to keep Mega Man in the center of the screen. This can actually make things tricky at times, since a pit of spikes might not quite be visible until you've already fallen into it. The music is all a little off as well, mostly due to differences in the audio hardware. All of Mega Man's abilities survived the port, so sliding and the chargeable Mega Buster are in, as is Rush the Dog in his Rush Coil form. But I found the Rush Coil to be essentially useless, so the one image of him you see below is the only one you're going to see. I just never needed him again.

The game's intro mimics that of Mega Man 4, with a few scenes removed to simplify the story and make it all less sequel-y. After starting the game, we're presented with a selection of four bosses, rather than the usual eight. And they're not much of a selection, with Bright Man from Mega Man 4, and Stone Man, Napalm Man and Star Man from Mega Man 5. But bad robots are bad robots, so we'll take all comers.

AD 200X? So this takes place in the past?

Yep, those are some... uh... bosses.

Arbitrarily-Chosen First Boss: Star Man

Star Man's stage takes place on a space station with limited gravity, so Mega Man jumps unusually high here. Of course, that means that the ceilings are often lined with spikes, as are the floors in several places. The aforementioned vertical scrolling only makes things tougher, but it's easy enough to learn where the spikes are and avoid them next time. There's a good variety of enemies, including gun turrets, robot walkers, and adorable little rocket Metools.

Star Man himself is easy enough, though understanding his patterns and being able to avoid them are two different things. He usually generates a star shield, jumps toward the ceiling, and throws the shield at you, but he'll occasionally stay low and hop directly at you. And he's quick, so you have to be on your toes. Several charged shots from the Mega Buster will take him down, as long as you wait until he's thrown away his current star shield. Defeating him yields the "Crash Weapon", formerly known as the Star Crash.

Pro Wrestling did Star Man better.

The spikes were off-screen until I fell.

Surprise!

Would you just die already?

High five?

Where's your shield now, huh? HUH?

Yes... come to me, power... NOM NOM NOM

It's not really a crash. Or a weapon.

Arbitrarily-Chosen Second Boss: Stone Man

Stone Man's stage looks an awful lot like Guts Man's stage from the first game, with its metal-on-rock construction. But there doesn't seem to be any construction going on here. The stage has several hidden passages which can be opened by shooting certain portions of walls that look a little different. A few areas also contain false walls you can just walk through.

Stone Man's strategy is simpler than Star Man's; he just keeps trying to jump on you. After a high jump, his body will collapse into a heap of rubble, only to reform a second later. He's only vulnerable when he's intact, so his greatest offense is also his greatest defense. The Star Crash only does one point of damage, so at this point, the charged Mega Buster is the way to go. Just wait until he picks himself up after a collapse, and let him have it. Defeating him earns you the Power Stone, or in this case, the "Stone Weapon".

I should've brought my Paper Weapon.

Kids today...

Why all the robot bugs?

Ooh, a secret passage!

Um...

Too bad I'll never get a chance to use this.

I don't like where this is headed.

Platform-jumping robot... Mega Man!

He's good at throwing temper tantrums.

That is to say, you get a stone.

Arbitrarily-Chosen Third Boss: Bright Man

Oh boy. This is where it all went downhill. Bright Man's stage is fairly interesting, with a couple of areas full of light and dark enemies. Destroying a floating bulb enemy causes the screen to go dark, while destroying a little walking enemy causes a small fireworks display that lights the screen back up. Other areas feature long tracks of spikes that can only be traversed by the robot grasshoppers that stand around waiting for you to hop on their backs.

Bright Man would be a simple enough boss, if it weren't for a silly little bug that can ruin things completely. His special power is the ability to stop time, causing Mega Man to freeze in place while Bright Man opens fire on him. Normally, getting hit would cause you to break out of the frozen state, but an unchecked situation can arise if time is stopped as Mega Man is reeling from damage. In this state, Mega Man is frozen in his damage position, and since there's an invulnerability period that lasts until a second or so after Mega Man regains his bearings, it becomes impossible for Bright Man to do any more damage, and you're stuck with no way to fight back.

Somehow, I doubt it.

I could use a Rush Flashlight right about now.

This kind of makes no sense.

Ooh, it'd be nice to have their spike-surviving power.

Here's the first and last picture of Rush. Enjoy!

Super sliding robot? Mega Man!

Mega Man has no time for fireworks.

Ack, some of my pixels fell off!

Is that your threatening pose?

OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW

Fortunately, I wrote down my passwords along the way, since the game doesn't allow you to continue when you run out of lives, so I was able to reset and try again immediately. Unfortunately, the emulator I was using didn't keep track of the reset. See, I've recently started recording my playthroughs so that I can concentrate on the game, and worry about taking screenshots later. But since the reset wasn't included in the recording, this caused a desync that has taken me entirely too long to fix. I've just about got it, so rest assured I'll be back soon to finish this thing up.

RGR017 - Running the Gauntlet

2010-01-03T22:26:00.001-05:00

After many, many deaths in the various elevators of stage four, I finally managed to make it to the end in one piece, only to find out that I was SO CLOSE to the end each time. The diagonal elevator path littered with green orbs and attack ships was the last leg of stage 4-2. But it gave me plenty of practice, which I'd quickly find out I needed.

Fourth Boss: Kridon & Zoniar

On the surface, Kridon & Zoniar aren't really a complicated set of bosses: the heart-like mech inside the elevator (probably Kridon) simply bounces around at 45-degree angles, while the ships that stick to the top and bottom (most likely Zoniar) fire an armor-piercing laser every so often. The difficulty of the battle stems from the fact that Zoniar's lasers are very long, and can be fired as Zoniar moves, effectively pushing you back and cornering you. This then allows Kridon to get uncomfortably close, and one of them ends up making contact. Luckily, the powered-up plasma gun can fire through the elevator frame, so Zoniar can be destroyed. With both parts gone, Kridon is a sitting (or rather, bouncing) duck. Still, I lost many, many lives in this battle, and continuing means dealing with stage 4-2 all over again.

Eww, I bet it's all squishy.

Can't say I'm a fan of that.

Now this is more like it.

This battle seemed so tough the first time.

It's like the eyes follow you...

and shoot lasers at you!

The little guy up there seems harmless...

The screen is actually full of enemy lasers.

Stage five returns to the traditional corridor layout, but introduces a new enemy: a pivoting dual-barreled laser cannon that can be positioned horizontally or vertically. It fires in spurts, so there are plenty of openings to take it out, but the horizontal ones can start firing before you realize they're there, so they often act as traps. The second part of the stage brings in yet another new enemy, this time a little tiny drone with a big surprise. Killing one of these drones causes it to launch a wide plasma wave directly forward, which can be difficult to dodge. And if a drone reaches the edge of the screen, it self-destructs, sending the same plasma wave backwards. So you have to watch out for the waves no matter what.

The first four bosses were explicitly named in the instruction manual, but from here on out, I'm basing names on a FAQ; they may not be official, but then again, they may.

Fifth Boss: Multatron

As obnoxiously difficult as it is cleverly designed, Multatron is a transforming defense mech with three separate forms. It first takes its blue form, firing lasers diagonally which bounce off the walls. After taking enough damage, Multatron switches to its red form, where it fires lasers horizontally that suddenly turn 90 degrees when they reach you. They alternate between moving upward and downward, just as the blue form's lasers were fired from alternate top and bottom positions. Again, after taking enough damage, Multatron switches to its third form, the green form, where it begins firing plasma waves. Once the green form takes enough damage, things get trickier, as Multatron starts rapidly switching from form to form, now firing two shots at once in each form, more quickly and much tougher to dodge. This one takes a lot of patience and quick reflexes to win.

Blue mode...

red mode...

green mode...

DEAD MODE!

I dare you to try to run through.

This stage sure has some ugly platforms.

WHEE!!!

Gravity's messing with my head now.

Stage six gets complicated; a series of smaller platforms slowly rises upward from the bottom of the screen, and though the screen doesn't scroll vertically, the stage still loops in both directions. Falling through the bottom of the screen causes you to reappear at the top, and vice versa, depending on the gravity. There are plenty of gun turrets and other enemies to keep you on your toes as you try to not only deal with the jumps (which sometimes include spikes), but also the necessary gravity switches (which also sometimes include spikes). As you can see above, there are several gravity-controlled fire wave cannons in tricky places. And there are no gun upgrades in 6-2; I'd have killed for a plasma gun power-up.

Sixth Boss: Triad Voltars

The Voltars are three large green block-like machines that slowly orbit the perimeter of the room. They don't attack, but both the floor and ceiling of the room contain conduits that will destroy you on contact, so moving around is just as good as attacking. Most of the Voltars' bodies are protected with armor, but each has a small hatch that opens after a certain amount of time; when this hatch is open, a Voltar is susceptible to a single shot, at which point the hatch closes. So it's a waiting game, but also a quickly moving around and adjusting gravity to avoid dying game. When a Voltar is one shot away from destruction, it turns red, making it somewhat easier to plan the order of attack.

They kind of look like crazy turtle heads.

There can be only one.

And eventually, there will be.

Right, there we go.

They left these here for me? How nice!

I get to continue partway through!

Stage seven, like many other final stages before it, is a nonstop series of battles against all the previous bosses. I won't go into much detail, since every fight is just as it was before, but at least Cyberg was kind enough to supply one of each weapon power-up, allowing you to choose how you want to fight. Continuing also brings you back to the weapon selection corridor, but doesn't force you to fight any of the bosses you've already beaten. This actually makes the final stage a bit disappointing in its simplicity.

Final Boss: Self-Destruct Device

The self-destruct device is sort of a lock and key mechanism, but there seem to be some pulsing wiry things of some sort holding it back. They're easy to destroy, and they don't fight back, so it's not much of a battle. Destroying each one causes the key to move closer to the lock, until all four have been defeated, at which point the device activates. The resulting explosion is impressive, and though it doesn't look like the M-308 Gunner made it out alive, the following ending text clearly states you've been granted immortality, so I think survival is pretty much in the bag.

The proper ending requires the game be completed in Expert mode, which I tried a little, and decided I had neither the skill nor the patience to make any progress. So if you really want to see the extra little bit of ending, look it up on YouTube.

All right, I think I see the problem...

Let's just get these wire things cleaned up.

Just a couple more...

I should probably run now.

Now that's what I call an epic explosion!

Hang tough? An NKOTB reference?

Yeah, no, thanks.

And with that, the world, and possibly the universe, is once again saved. We've really got to start keeping a closer eye on these AI-driven planet-destroying "defensive" battle stations from now on.

The next game will feature a certain super fighting robot, a bomber of the blue variety, but not on the system you'd expect. See you there!

RGR Game #017: Metal Storm

2010-01-02T21:29:00.002-05:00

M-308 Gunner loves the Power Glove. It's so bad.
(Many thanks to Kari as always for this awesomeness!)

Don't forget your metal umbrella!

He should've looked up.

Happy New Year, and welcome to game #017: Metal Storm. This underrated little gem for the NES follows an unknown soldier on a mission to save Earth from a malfunctioning space battle station using a gravity-controlling suit of combat armor called the M-308 Storm Gunner. As a kid, I remember being blown away by the quality of the animation and the fluidity of the controls. Of course, being able to reverse gravity with a button press was pretty sweet too.

The story, according to the US manual for the game, is set in the year 2501, where mankind is at the mercy of Pluto's battle station Cyberg, which was originally built to protect humanity from hostile alien invasion. The station's powerful laser cannon ("LaserGun", according to the manual) has begun destroying entire planets in our solar system, most recently Neptune. Normally, it would be simple enough to activate Cyberg's self-destruct mechanism, but said mechanism has mysteriously jammed, and the station has selected Earth as its next target. So humanity's last hope lies with the M-308 Gunner and pilot as it fights through Cyberg's defenses, reaches the core, and activates the self-destruct mechanism manually.

The Japanese version differs in two ways: the year is 3521, and the battle station was actually constructed from Pluto itself (and was christened "Gigadeath" by its creators). If you want to nitpick, Gigadeath has become self-aware, and has decided the human race must be destroyed. Otherwise, though, the story is essentially the same, with the M-308 Gunner headed there to manually activate the self-destruct mechanism and all that.

Oh, what a feeling?

I've got this burning sensation...

This guy has no respect
for personal space.

That's a bit overdramatic.

As I mentioned before, the big draw of Metal Storm is its gravity control system, which allows the pilot to reverse gravity at the touch of a button. Specifically, pressing Up+A reverses gravity, and then Down+A reverts it to normal. This allows for some spectacular jumps, and also very creative level design. Stage one acts as a practice stage to let you get the hang of the controls, and the gravity. There are relatively few enemies, and they move slowly, though the walkers can be tricky if you forget that your gravity control affects them as well. Anything that isn't bolted down or already flying will rise or fall with you.

First Boss: Gorgoth

Gorgoth continues the gravity training exercises by having a single weak point in the form of a glowing purple dome that can appear in one of three places, only one of which is accessible from the floor. It periodically launches three purple rings at roughly 30-degree angles (I think), making them easy to avoid. It's entirely possible to destroy Gorgoth without reversing gravity, but it's not nearly as fun as standing on the ceiling to fire at the dome when it's protruding from one of the sides.

Cleans in hard-to-reach places!

Huh? I was there a frame ago...

Ooh, which path should I choose?

I sense danger.

You know what? I'm going for it.

Heh, no problem.

Ah, stage two. This is where things start getting interesting. The entire stage isn't very tall, but the whole thing loops vertically, giving the sensation of infinite depth. There are a few spike-lined platforms that you can only land on from above or below, depending on which side the spikes line. One section of the stage features gravity-controlled doors that you have to manipulate to progress, but the doors can kill you when they're in motion.

I should mention that the entire game features a neat little graphical trick that creates the illusion of multiple background layers. Each stage has a far background that is made of a simple tiled pattern, and that pattern is automatically redrawn every frame to make it look like a separate scrolling layer. It's really very impressive, especially when you consider the graphics hardware in the NES doesn't support multiple background layers at all.

Second Boss: Energizers

The Energizers are an array of five laser cannons, each of which fires a powerful beam at random. Their room, like the stage before it, loops vertically, making it difficult at first to understand how many cannons there actually are. Once one is destroyed, though, it becomes simple. The cannons fire quickly, but must open their armor shells to expose their cannon barrels before firing, giving you a chance to jump out of the way.

Jeez! A little more warning
next time, okay?

Looks like it doesn't keep going.

The background's much
awesomer in motion.

I'm a sniper-sniper.

Stage three is a supply line of some sort, with a track running through its entirety that is used by carts that appear every so often and make jumps a little trickier. There are more spikes in this stage than in the previous stage, so careful mastery of gravity is a must.

Third Boss: Gultzen

Gultzen's heavy armor protects it from all harm as it moves from panel to panel, trying to crush you. And if that weren't bad enough, slow-moving lasers make maneuvering difficult, giving you small windows in which to cross from one quadrant of the room to another. The only time Gultzen can be damaged is when it connects to a panel and opens its armor to look for you. So the battle turns into a chase, with Gultzen forcing you to quickly and carefully move through the room, taking potshots whenever you get a chance. One mistimed move spells doom, since the pods revolving around Gultzen are just as deadly as Gultzen itself.

This is more dangerous than it looks.

Well, it was.

Hey, watch it with those things!

Ow. Seriously.

Stage four... I hate stage four. The M-308 Gunner is forced to ride a series of cargo elevators to reach the inner core area of Cyberg, and the elevators' path is riddled with security drones and other threats. Some, like the green orbs above, do nothing but get in the way, but there are plenty of mounted guns and attack ships to make the trip a nightmare. With movement restricted by the relatively small elevator frame, survival is elusive.

Sub-Boss: The Galons

Compared to the stage before them, the Galons are refreshingly easy to deal with. The four machines cling to the walls of the elevator frame, circling you several times before stopping to fire one shot each, and then circling again in the opposite direction. They're easy to jump over, and fairly weak. I've read that this isn't the case in the game's expert mode, where they move so fast that they're essentially impossible to avoid.

The real trouble begins in stage 4-2, where a whole new slew of enemies appears to make things as difficult as possible. Ships appear that form entire walls, and must be destroyed in order to break down those walls. The elevator starts moving diagonally, with lots of green orbs to dance around. Everything just gets tougher. And when the going gets tough... apparently, I run out of lives. Good thing there are infinite continues.

The one on the left was flickering.

And now they all are.

You weren't so tough.

ACK! HELP!

What? It's a hard level.

Maybe tomorrow.

So I think I'll leave it at that for now while I take a little breather. Keep your eyes peeled for the next episode, coming very soon.

After all, Earth still needs saving, and there's not much time left!

RGR016 - Inclement Weather

2009-12-22T01:29:00.002-05:00

Once finished with his latest round of present-delivering, Santa begins the final leg of his journey, leading to more factory locations, deep underground ice caverns, and finally back to his house where yet another conspirator lies in waiting. After a visit to the gift-wrapping plant, Santa treads flying carpets and fights off toy helicopters to free more elves and gather more stolen gifts before reaching the North Pole once again. Inside his house, he follows the trail of evil RC cars (the first normal enemies of the game to take more than one hit to destroy) into his basement, only to run into the third mastermind behind this rotten plan to destroy Christmas.

Don't let him wake up, don't let him wake up...

It'd be funnier if the chain came from his nostril.

Santa goes in...

Neatly wrapped Santa comes out.

Found any good lamps recently?

See, THAT'S how he climbs down the chimney.

Third Boss: Louse the Mouse

Louse the Mouse is the most complicated boss thus far, requiring more than just brute force to defeat. As Santa approaches Louse, he begins chasing Santa, apparently intent to beat him with the bat-like object in his hand. The floor in the center of the room is a conveyor belt, and a 10-ton weight moves back and forth overhead. A switch has been kindly provided to release the weight, which reappears quickly after falling off the bottom of the screen.

Louse is initially immune to Santa's magic, possibly because his thug-like ways prevent him from believing in magic, but that's nothing ten tons of iron to the head won't cure. Once Louse begins his chase, Santa must quickly reach the switch to release the weight on top of Louse, stunning him and making him vulnerable to a single dose of Santa's magic. Several repetitions of this pattern bring Louse the Mouse down, returning safety to Santa's home and giving him just enough time to bring presents to all the kids in Japan and the US.

Man, the rats are big around here.

And the 10-ton weight only stuns him.

With a sleighful of giant robots, no doubt!

Every Christmas Eve, it's the same thing.

Look, a convenient landmark!

Take that, symbol of freedom!

Final Boss: Mr. Weather

In a last-ditch effort to ruin things for Santa, Mr. Weather himself appears to try and knock Santa out of the sky. But the epic intro screen portrayal of Mr. Weather is quickly discarded in favor of the ridiculous-looking little cloud guy you see below. The battle is actually pretty clever, though. See, the cloud Santa rides on can only move vertically, and Santa's magic can't reach Mr. Weather. But as Mr. Weather attacks with his lightning bolts, those bolts will sometimes pass through the wisps of clouds in the center of the screen, giving them a charge. Santa can then use that charge against Mr. Weather by adding his magic to the cloud itself, causing a lightning bolt to fire back at Mr. Weather. After absorbing enough lightning, Mr. Weather evaporates into the night air, leaving clear skies and smooth flying for the rest of Santa's flight.

I think he means business.

But he's much less impressive up close.

He dies like Pac-Man!

Santa should hire some guards... just in case.

So not only is Santa able to rescue his elves and reindeer, recover all the stolen presents and annihilate his enemies, but also still manages to get all the presents delivered on time. How's that for dedication?

Well, that concludes the latest chapter in the ongoing story of Retro Gamer Ryan. I know I had a lot of fun playing Daze Before Christmas, and I hope you had a good time reading about it. And I know not everyone out there celebrates Christmas or believes in Santa Claus, but remember... it's just a game.

If you've got a holiday to celebrate right around now, I wish you the best. If not, I still wish you the best.

RGR Game #016: Daze Before Christmas

2009-12-20T22:24:00.002-05:00

Santa wins with DISCO POWER!

I fear no soulless rat.

Are you following this? Me neither.

Bow down before the mighty Anti-Claus!

In keeping with the spirit of the holiday season, the next game here at Retro Gamer Ryan is Daze Before Christmas for the Sega Genesis / Mega Drive, a surprisingly fun little platformer starring everyone's favorite jolly gift-delivering magic man, Santa Claus. Though Santa has a couple of momentum issues that can make for an occasional difficult jump, the controls are nice and responsive. The game's a bit on the easy side, but it throws tricky obstacles at you here and there to keep you on your toes.

Before I get to the story and gameplay, I wanted to note that this game marks two firsts for Retro Gamer Ryan. First (yeah, the first first, first first of the firsts), it's the first game for a Sega system here on the blog; second, it's the first game to be released exclusively in PAL regions. From what I've been able to gather, the game only made it to market in Australia, and in limited numbers. A Super NES port followed shortly thereafter, but also never made it to retail outside the PAL regions. Sunsoft apparently planned to release the game in the US, but the game fell victim to Sunsoft's financial problems and subsequent bankruptcy restructuring in 1994, and was never heard from again.

The story is simple enough, so I'll paraphrase the "poem" above: one day, sometime shortly before Christmas Eve, some of Santa's enemies banded together to hatch a plot to ruin Christmas for kids all over the world, most likely to make Santa look bad. They kidnapped the elves, stole some plans of some sort, and did away with all of Santa's presents. When Santa woke up, he found everything in shambles, and immediately set out to fix everything and save Christmas.

An interesting aspect of the game is the concept of "Anti-Claus", an evil, demon-like version of Santa who takes over Santa's body whenever he drinks one of the cups of coffee that appear in strange places in some levels. Anti-Claus lacks Santa's magic, instead using his sack of presents to inflict blunt force trauma on his enemies. Anti is also unable to open presents, as that requires magic for some reason. However, Anti is invincible, and only he can defeat the golem-like creatures that appear in two or three stages. The transformation lasts 10-30 seconds, depending on the settings you've chosen on the options menu, with a default of 20 seconds. Unfortunately, I found myself standing around just waiting for it to wear off, and eventually just started avoiding the coffee. Which is ironic, since I'm a pretty big fan of coffee.

Don't ask me why the levels are mixed up.

He's getting too old for this.

He's following me again, isn't he?

ALL OF TREASURES

HADOUKEN!!!

Santa Smash!

It's like the eyes follow you...

Is it safe to come out now?

All right, on to the game. Santa's adventure starts in his own house, where he's forced to do battle with possessed toys and zombie-like rats that pace back and forth staring soullessly. After navigating the convoluted structure of the house, it's time to brave the cold of the North Pole on foot, to continue rounding up presents and liberating elves. After rescuing a reindeer deep within a frozen cave, Santa continues on to a magical area with flying carpets and inexplicable wavy fabric-like backgrounds, only to emerge in the lair of the first boss, the Evil Snowman.

First Boss: The Evil Snowman

Contrary to his stage intro screen, the Evil Snowman actually isn't very large at all, and equally non-threatening. He attempts to batter Santa with snowballs, but the fire magic Santa picked up along the way makes short work of him. The Evil Snowman can't even move from his spot, since whoever built him didn't have the sense to give him legs. Then again, legs made of snow probably wouldn't support the weight of a body made of snow, so he was doomed from the start.

After defeating the Evil Snowman, Santa immediately takes to the skies, choosing England as the starting point for his present-delivery route. This results in something of a bonus stage, where presents have to be dropped into as many active chimneys as possible. I just hope the wrapping paper is fire-retardant.

Frosty would never pull this stuff.

Heh, you're not so big.

Shouldn't they have put out the fire first?

Hey, lights out!

Ho ho *glug*!

They killed Santa!

This factory makes no sense.

You shall not pass! Ow!

Santa's quest next takes him to a series of factories, probably the ones where all his toys are made. The wood factory and steel factory are of course now overrun with enemies, and part of the path has begun to flood. This is probably the toughest area of the game, since it's necessary to quickly jump between platforms that sometimes recede into the walls, sometimes move back and forth or up and down, and are very narrow. And Santa can't swim in that heavy winter suit, so one wrong move means Santa drowns. This single stage swallowed more lives than the rest of the game, and resulted in my only game over. Finally, though, I made it across safely and took on the next boss.

Second Boss: The Timekeeper

You can tell right away that the Timekeeper is a tougher boss than the Evil Snowman. See, he has legs. But he only uses them to stand while he attacks from a distance. Once Santa gets close enough, the Timekeeper shows off his real talent, the half-pipe. His arms, legs, and little winding dial disappear into his body, and he rolls right into the half-pipe, trying to crush Santa in the process. Luckily, Santa can jump right over him, hitting him with magic as he passes. After a few passes, the Timekeeper is history. Get it? History? Ahem... nevermind.

With the Timekeeper amply punished, it's time to head out and deliver more presents, this time to all the little children in Russia. This is a little confusing, though, since the first stop was England. Santa really should be moving from east to west, to keep up with the time zones. But who am I to argue with Santa Claus, right?

The Timekeeper...

master of the half-pipe!

Santa makes stops out of order.

In Soviet Russia, satellite shoots YOU down!

Will Santa be able to overcome adversity and prevail over his nemeses? Will he save Christmas for the rest of the children of the world?

Will Anti-Claus finally step up and serve a real purpose? Probably not, but for these answers and more, stay tuned for the conclusion of Daze Before Christmas!

RGR015 - Sticking With the Formula

2009-12-08T21:34:00.001-05:00

After a bit of a delay, Masato and Mizuki have returned to the Fortress to finish the job they were sent in to do. The final stage went much more smoothly the second time, mainly because I sort of remembered the path. I also made better use of the medpacks scattered around this time, so by the time I reached the plasma ball leading to the boss, Masato was full-powered, and Mizuki had only lost one unit of life (I flubbed a jump over some spikes on the way back from grabbing a medpack for Masato). I decided to start the battle with the boss as Mizuki, expecting her to die and let Masato finish the job.

Restart, you mean.

We meet again, plasma ball.

Final Sub-Boss: Hovercraft

I was much more wary of the Hovercraft's movements this time, since I already knew it could pin me to the wall and kill me. So I tried to stay beside it and fire grenades diagonally at it. Luckily, this is another one of those bosses that takes damage no matter where it's hit. Its missiles weren't a threat, but I still had to be on my toes when it started moving toward me and charging forward. It would also fire its machine gun at me as it charged, but some careful dodging kept Mizuki alive.

After destroying the hovercraft, I found myself back on the first floor, in a walled-off section of room I couldn't access before. Just like the first game, the final stage had a sub-boss with an extra bit of stage before the final boss. I blew a hole in the floor and dropped down, fought off a few normal-ish enemies, and blew up another plasma ball.

This was the last thing I remember.

But I like the way it ended this time.

But wait, there's more!

Ooh, I'm in the inner sanctum!

Final Boss: Massive Turret

The final boss was kind of a disappointment. It was very large, but completely immobile, and its pattern was easy to get the hang of. After firing three sets of missiles from its front cannons, it would pause, and then start firing the machine guns on its "hands". I could sometimes manage to get a grenade in during the missile launches, and could easily fire off two before the machine guns began firing. Starting from one lower corner of the room, it's not difficult to walk nearly full speed toward the other side to avoid the machine guns, though I did get caught off-guard once. Still, that's one point of damage I took during the entire fight.

At least the hovercraft moved.

You just blow up in place.

That's more like it!

The first game had a better ending.

Thanks to the heroic efforts of Masato and Mizuki, the world is most likely saved from some mysterious evil army once again. Congratulations, guys!

I believe that concludes the saga of Masato and Mizuki; Operation Logic Bomb has its own hero, a cyborg soldier named Logan. So our heroes have plenty of time to take a well-deserved vacation.

The next game is once again up in the air, but I've got a little something new coming. Kari made a teaser post about it a few weeks ago.

Are you excited? I know I am!

RGR Game #015: Ikari no Yousai 2

2009-12-02T20:44:00.000-05:00

Sorry, no Sound Boy this time.

My bullets are bigger than my head!

Welcome back to the continued adventures of Masato and Mizuki in Ikari no Yousai 2, the Japan-only sequel to my previous game, Fortified Zone. It looks like the enemy has risen once again, so our heroes have answered the call and begun a new infiltration mission. Either that, or this is a brand new enemy with its own set of high-tech gadgets. It's kind of hard to tell.

As expected, the game looks and plays similarly to the first, though I noticed a few differences early on. First, there are no enemy weapons to commandeer this time around, and the three weapons available (machine gun, three-way gun, and grenade launcher) can be used equally well by Masato and Mizuki. Mizuki remains the only one who can jump, making Masato's only advantage his longer health bar (and there are no items to extend that bar this time). The sprites are a little smaller than in the first game, and both soldiers have gained the ability to walk and shoot diagonally, making them 100% more effective marksmen.

However, the one major change that I'm finding I don't like... medpacks aren't collectible. This time, they only heal your current injuries. So at any given time, you've got Masato's one life bar, and Mizuki's, and that's it. I beat the first game without ever losing either soldier, but that's not happening in this game.

Oh, and once again, I don't know the bosses' names, if they even have names.

They're back, and more alike this time!

What is this, a printing press?

Stairs? In stage 1? Oh boy.

The giant plasma ball beckons...

Stage one, the Laboratory stage, is full of robots from the get-go, with only a few humans to be found. The map layout, though restricted to a 4x5 grid, was more complex than the early parts of the previous game. Instead of open rooms connected by doorways in the cardinal directions, rooms were divided into smaller corridors, and these divisions made finding the right paths to the keys trickier. The whole thing felt much more like a maze, and the very first stage had two floors!

I hadn't even managed to take every path I found, though, before I happened upon a room that housed what looked like a giant plasma ball. It didn't do anything; it just sat there, begging me to destroy it. And destroy it I did; as soon as the smoke cleared from the explosion, an alarm sounded, and I found myself confronting the first boss.

First Boss: Artillery Mech

The first boss was a four-legged assault tank, though it never took a step. I guess it had to lock its legs and brace itself to fire its six large cannons simultaneously. After firing a couple of volleys from the cannons, the mech would open its obvious weak point, an energy-emitting orb that could launch several energy bolts in succession like a machine gun. But it was able to fire them DIRECTLY AT ME. They moved no faster than any other projectile in the game, so they weren't too difficult to dodge.

The pattern was simple enough: stay to one side, wait for the cannons to stop firing, then run in and get a couple of shots in on the orb before it began firing. Then run to the other side and up to dodge the shots, and wait for the next opening. It was nice to see a boss that had some challenge to it, but I had no problem bringing the mech down.

I think I'm in the danger zone.

You can't beat me if you don't move around.

Ooh, I've had grenades the whole time!

But this guy does too.

Next up was stage two, which I think was called the Factory stage. There were some subtle changes in the floor and wall patterns to make everything seem less high-tech, and more industrial. A couple of new enemies were added as well, like a heavily armored robot with a grenade launcher that could withstand several direct grenade hits. The layout was again mazelike and tricky, but I eventually found and destroyed the plasma ball, and was again taken to the boss.

Second Boss: Rail Tank

My first attempt to fight this thing ended disastrously, with Masato falling within seconds, and Mizuki not faring much better. The tank was surprisingly quick for something so large, and while darting back and forth at the top of the screen, it continuously fired missiles from two of its turrets. That was bad enough, but the center machine gun turret then began firing rapidly, and directly at me once again.

My second attempt was more successful, mainly due to luck, with a little help from my trusty grenade launcher. The tank doesn't have a single weak point, instead taking damage at just about any point. So I weaved between missiles, took a few machine gun rounds, and fed it grenades at every opportunity. It didn't seem to take all that much damage before it started to fill the screen with explosions.

AGHAGHAGHAGHAGH!!!

Phew... second time's a charm.

B1? Don't tell me there are 3 floors...

That's an awfully narrow hole.

Stage three, the Shelter stage, had me a little worried when I noticed I had started in the basement rather than the first floor. I expected at least three floors, but it turns out the whole thing is underground. So only two floors. Phew.

The walls were mostly solid rock and dirt, typical of an underground cavern. There were a significant number of holes in the ground on the upper level, many of which had to be explored in order to gain access to certain rooms on the floor below. I spent quite some time trying to figure out where to go next, as several rooms had trick walls, and I hadn't managed to find every one of them. The little pause screen map helped me find it, though, along with the plasma ball and boss.

Third Boss: Heavy Walker Mark II

I kind of wish that was its actual name. This walker was a bit quicker than the one from the previous game, and also much more dangerous. It would fire 8 missiles in succession from each of its shoulder-mounted missile launchers, and then reveal its energy-emitting sphere. At this point, it would begin firing energy bolts much like the boss in the Laboratory stage, but would walk forward while doing so. Once it reached the bottom of the screen, it would pause for a moment, and then back up while firing more energy bolts. Once it reached its original position, it would prepare to fire more missiles.

Because of its size, I had to dodge the walker and its energy bolts as it walked forward, causing me to do several laps around the screen. I could usually get in one or two grenades before I had to get out of its path, and another once I got behind it (the energy sphere was its weak point, if you couldn't tell). I got a bit cocky a couple of times and tried to pull off fancy diagonal shots across its legs, and I paid for it by taking a couple of unnecessary hits from the energy bolts, but it wasn't enough to prevent me from destroying the walker.

Is someone a fan of Metal Gear?

Good thing I can walk in all directions.

Stage four. The Fortress stage. I'm assuming it's the final stage, but I haven't beaten it yet. Three floors, powerful enemies, and lots and lots of backtracking. This stage is much longer than the previous stages, and much tougher. Most of my time was spent tracking down one enemy, whose destruction triggers a door somewhere else to open, and then taking the winding path to that newly-opened door in order to do it again in another spot. After what seemed like forever, my path finally dead-ended in a little room with a little hole, and inside that little hole was the plasma ball, and then the boss.

Final(?) Boss: Hovercraft

Just what I need; a huge boss that can move in all four directions. Masato was already dead by the time I reached the boss, so it was up to Mizuki to take it out. Unfortunately, I wasn't prepared for the sudden and unforgiving onslaught. It began moving down toward me, firing its machine gun to keep me on the move. I was hoping it wouldn't be able to reach the bottom of the screen, but I was wrong. It pinned me down, and instantly killed Mizuki.

That thing's a regular enemy!

This might hurt a little.

Yeah, let's try again later.

It was pretty frustrating to die at the boss after spending so much time figuring out the incredibly complex stage, but I've got my password at the ready.

To be continued...

RGR014 - No More Dragons

2009-11-28T19:24:00.001-05:00

Stage four, the Fortress stage, is much more technologically advanced than the previous stages. Human and mutant enemies have been all but completely replaced with various attack robots, and the floor and walls have that fresh, clean, metallic look to them. The floor layout is also more confusing, requiring several trips between the two floors in different places in order to find all the necessary keys. At one point, I reached a locked door that looked like it was going to lead to a premature boss battle, but since I had no key, I had to explore the last few rooms I hadn't yet visited. Surprisingly, I wound up finding a boss anyway.

Oh, before I forget: I don't know if the bosses have names; the names I'm using for them are just names I'm making up as I go along. I do that sometimes, you know.

Can your missiles beat my flamethrower?

Number 5 is alive!

Yeah, I walk through walls.
Got a problem with that?

What a waste of barrels.

Final Sub-Boss: Heavy Walker

The first of two final bosses, the Heavy Walker is capable of vertical movement, like the tank from stage two. However, this thing is much faster on its feet. Luckily, it can be stopped in its tracks if the legs take enough damage. It has a front-mounted gun that is only a threat if you stand directly in front of it, so I concentrated on the legs and worried about the gun once the walker was grounded.

The real trouble with the Heavy Walker is its shoulder-mounted plasma gun-type things, which launch a volley of bullets into the air, only to have them all suddenly come hurtling right at you. They have a maximum range, though, and since my gun was powered up to its full range, I was able to stand all the way to one side of the room and pick off one gun from just outside the spot where the gun's shots dissipated. After doing the same on the other side with the other gun, an eye-like object on top of the walker began to flash. I was afraid it might be a self-destruct mechanism, so I rushed back to the walker's side and opened fire until the whole thing went up in flames.

I should maybe get out of the way.

That was disappointing.

Immediately after defeating the Heavy Walker, I found myself in a room with the final key that I needed to access the locked door I found earlier. After picking up a couple of medpacks on the other side, I proceeded into the final boss room.

Final Boss: Supercomputer

The heavily-armed Supercomputer was initially more bark than bite, with its giant movable heat-seeking missile launchers. Since only one missile can appear at a time, and missiles can be shot down easily, I made short work of both launchers. This exposed a central gun that I destroyed in no time. Next up were two small domes on the upper section of the Supercomputer that looked a bit like flood lights, or maybe the doors in Metroid. Each of these fired a couple of shots as I approached, but those were easily dodged.

Once I destroyed the domes, the Supercomputer entered an emergency defense mode, where a central "eye" activated, and lasers began spewing forth from the central core. The lasers were fired in a tight interval, leaving very little room to get between them, though the eye in the center was the weak point. So the only way to finish the Supercomputer off was to get between the lasers, fire a single shot up into the central core, and back out. I probably used up a few medpacks here, but after several shots, I managed to destroy the Supercomputer.

I wonder what the rest of it looks like.

They forgot to give it wheels.

But at least they gave it lasers...

Not that they helped much.

Couldn't you have parked the chopper closer?

Teeny-tiny staff roll!

With the mission successfully completed, Masato and Mizuki returned to their rendezvous point with the exploding ruins of the enemy fortress behind them. Thus, the world was most likely saved.

But you know what? I don't think the story is quite over for these two. Check back later for the further adventures of Masato and Mizuki!

RGR Game #014: Fortified Zone

2009-11-25T23:38:00.001-05:00

Aww, they broke the logo!

They're slow to react, I guess.

All right, folks, next up on our list is Fortified Zone for the Game Boy. I remember being so excited about this game when I saw a preview of it in Nintendo Power or some other magazine. But I guess I wasn't excited enough, because I never did get around to playing it. The game is called Ikari no Yousai (Fortress of Fury) in Japan, where I recently learned there was a sequel that never made it to the US; there was another sequel for the Super NES that was released here, titled Operation Logic Bomb. I'll probably be adding those two to my list pretty soon.

The story follows two mercenaries named Masato and Mizuki as they infiltrate a mysterious enemy stronghold, fighting soldiers, mutants and robots along the way. One interesting feature I should note is that the game allows you to switch between the two characters at any time on the pause screen, and they have their own special abilities: Masato can handle the enemies' special weapons while Mizuki has the ability to jump over spikes (an ability that I admittedly didn't find out about until after I had finished the game). This allows for a little bit of strategy amongst all the carnage and mayhem.

There's also a ridiculously detailed sound test mode called Sound Boy, but I only spent enough time with the mode to put together the one animation below.

Masato & Mizuki: Mega Mercenaries!

Dance, Sound Boy, dance!

How'd they fit that through the door?

You know, spike traps are awfully silly.

At least they're not heat-seeking.

I wonder where the boss is.

Each stage (or each floor of each stage) is laid out on a 5x5-screen grid, and the goal is generally to hunt down one or more larger enemies to obtain keys needed to get through one or more locked doors that eventually lead to the boss. Some rooms are divided by walls and can have multiple entrances from one direction, so navigation isn't quite so straightforward. Basically, each stage is a simple maze, and you make a map as you go along. There are also some tricks, like fake walls (identified by their missing shadows), pitfalls and dark rooms.

Stage one, the Field stage, introduces some of the soldier-type enemies, such as "guy with gun", "guy with three-way gun", and "guy with knife". The larger enemies include jeeps with rear-mounted guns and complex multi-barrel gun turrets that strangely only fire one shot at a time.

First Boss: Gun Battery

Inside the large black-floored boss room, three large gun turrets sit on raised platforms, ready to shoot if you wander into their line of fire. This would be a fairly scary thought if you didn't realize that they're only capable of aiming at 45-degree angles. Of course, people of the era were only able to aim at 90-degree angles, but people are smaller targets than great big gun turrets. Because of this, I was easily able to move from gun to gun, putting myself in a position that kept me out of the gun's line of fire, but keeping the gun in mine. I picked the guns off one at a time, and it was on to stage two, the Jungle stage.

This is what we call a "safe spot".

So was this.

I remember these things from Zelda!

Another Jeep? Do they build these in the rooms?

Stage two was laid out in a similar fashion to stage 1, though the textures were a bit different. There was no apparent jungle foliage, but everything was a little dirtier. The traps had expanded to include the sliding dagger blocks you see above, and as I recall, some of the enemies had improved body armor that could withstand multiple shots. Beyond that, though, not much had changed.

Second Boss: Tank

The tank's main cannon, much like the gun turrets, was only able to fire at 45-degree angles. However, the tank was much more dangerous because it could actually move. It would erratically roll back and forth, aiming and firing when possible. To make it trickier to line up shots from the side, two smaller guns were mounted on either side of the tank's rear. My strategy was to get in front of it, but not directly in front of the cannon, and open fire until it started to approach. I accidentally destroyed the right side-mount gun in the process, though I'm not complaining. Once the main cannon was gone, I just trotted up and annihilated the left gun to finish the tank off.

This seems like an unbalanced fight.

Unbalanced in my favor, that is!

Who keeps attack bats?

Does this thing have a moustache?

Stairs... so this place has two floors?

Wow, those medpacks are adding up.

So... confused...

Mutant crab people! Run!!!

Stage three, the Cave stage, was where things started getting strange. Not only was it the first stage with two floors, but it introduced all sorts of strange creatures as enemies. I ran into bats with 8-way shot capability, giant one-eyed armored insect things, and the weird man-dog-crab hybrid above. Some rooms began with inverted controls, thanks to some kind of brain-scrambling device the enemy has developed. Luckily, overcoming the controls is easy, and destroying the device reverses the effects.

Third Boss: Dragon

You heard me right. It's a dragon. It breathes fire and everything. Its pattern consists of moving left or right to a certain spot, shooting three fireballs in a wide pattern, then moving left or right again, and then charging with its head flailing back and forth. After a brief pause, it slowly walks back to the top of the screen and starts again. The fireballs aren't that fast, but they're bigger than any other weapon so far, so it pays to be careful when running from or dodging them. The dragon's weak spot is its head, and it can take a lot of damage before it finally dies. With some patience, though, it's not a difficult boss.

Whoa, I was not expecting this.

Sorry, Mr. Dragon, but business is business!

Next stop: stage four, the Fortress!

RGR Game #013: Ninja Spirit

2009-11-21T20:34:00.002-05:00

As promised, the next game is Ninja Spirit, for the TurboGrafx-16. According to most accounts, the story revolves around a ninja seeking vengeance for his father who was slain by an evil spirit. This isn't entirely accurate, though. In truth, the main character is a magical white wolf named Tsukikage, who assumes the form of the fallen ninja in order to exterminate the evil presence that killed him.

Tsukikage comes equipped with four different weapons: a katana called Righteous Cloud, shuriken called Swirling Leaf, bombs called Bamboo Thunder, and a kusarigama named Rising Dragon. Don't ask me why anyone would name their bombs. In addition to the standard weapons, upgrades are available which add range, power, and other special abilities to Tsukikage's weapons, as well as special power-ups that create clones that follow Tsukikage and allow significant attack advantages.

The game is a simple side-scrolling platformer with lots of evil ninjas, monks, and the occasional evil flying wolf trying to bring you down. There is a vertical stage, though, where you scale a mountain by jumping from outcropping to branch and vice-versa, and also a couple of areas where jumping high enough causes you to begin walking on the ceiling. But even then, you're still fighting the same few enemies, so I'll be concentrating on the large and sometimes ridiculously difficult bosses.

The Ninjaville High Eagles have ninja spirit!

He should have ducked.

Ooh, sparkly... GWOOORGH!!!

This'd go great on a T-shirt.

First Boss: Ashura

The battle with Ashura is prefaced with an assault by several groups of ninjas, who leap high into the air, throw a few shuriken, and then sink back into the ground. Luckily, the powered-up form of Righteous Cloud coupled with some clones makes me pretty much impervious to their attacks. Finally, after the ninjas have cleared out, Ashura rises up from the ground to get the actual boss battle started.

He's too large to actually move around, so his attacks consist entirely of summoning lightning bolts, which he then splits into little balls of energy that fly off in eight directions. Without power-ups, this might be a difficult fight, since his weak point is his head, and he uses four of his six hands to summon lightning at different points on screen. Luckily, I was fully powered up, so not only could his attacks not reach me, but I was also able to position a floating clone right next to his head to repeatedly attack him.

Left-hand ninjas don't concern me.

Do you think he even notices me?

Second Boss: Soufuki

His name means "twin-axed demon", and that sounds about right, as Soufuki wields twin axes, leaping directly at unsuspecting ninja wolves to chop them up. He moves from tree to tree, trying to find that perfect angle from which to corner and trap you, and he's fairly quick. Since he's always on your tail, defeating him requires a lot of careful footwork, basically dodging him and letting any clones you might have do all the attacking.

That tree won't save you. We jump high.

See?

Third Boss: Makai Hanzou

I'm not sure if this is supposed to be Hattori Hanzou himself, but it's definitely a very large ninja who's been summoned from Hell to get in my way. And you know he's there to cause trouble, since he's got a sword with a blade that's taller than I am. Good thing he's still a bit groggy from his eternal slumber, because it makes him slow to react and easy to jump over. So the battle plan is simple: let him get sort of close, then jump over him and use your clones to lay into him for a while. Once he starts getting close again, jump back and repeat. Easy peasy!

How do we deal with a 6-foot blade?

Surprisingly well.

Fourth Boss: Jubakuseki

At the end of the first ceiling-walking stage, we encounter the Jubakuseki, or Cursed Stones. These two large square stone blocks slide around their cramped little room, constantly trying to crush anyone who dares enter. They do adhere to a couple of convenient rules, though, that make them less of a threat. First, only one stone moves at any given time. Second, they can only move horizontally or vertically, never diagonally. And as a possible third, they seem to always alternate movements, which makes them fairly predictable. Besides, they don't really move that fast, and we can just about jump to the ceiling, so we've got the maneuverability advantage.

Great, so now gravity's an enemy too?

These are special ninja rocks.

Fifth Boss: Fuuma Kyuuninshuu

This gang of nine ninjas from the Fuuma clan arrives on a giant kite, and they seem to think it's wise to all stay strapped to that kite, throwing various ninja implements at us. Each of them can take a good bit of damage before finally vanishing, but the only one who really matters is the guy in the middle, the leader of the group. Since he doesn't attack, it's easiest to get rid of the rest of them first and then take him out in peace. The fight can get a little hectic if several of them decide to throw things at you all at once, but as usual, the powered-up form of Righteous Cloud protects me from everything they've got, so it's really not a tough fight at all.

You guys look silly strapped to that kite.

That's a bit better.

Sixth Boss: Ochimusha Reigun

DO NOT WANT.

This boss consists of a number of fallen warriors (the "ochimusha" part), reanimated in groups of up to three. Each appears right where you're standing at that moment, so you constantly have to watch your step, or you'll be on the receiving end of a surprise zombie blade before you know it. I lost count of how many times I died in this fight, and looking back, I probably should have used a ranged weapon like Bamboo Thunder instead of relying on my sword so much. Eventually, though, I was able to defeat enough of them to run their supply dry.

The final stage is another gravity-defying ceiling walk stage, this time set in a dark cave full of powerful samurai types who can follow you to the ceiling, are quite quick, and kill with one hit. Needless to say, the stage was tough. And to make matters worse, the cavern dead-ends above a seemingly bottomless pit, where the souls of ninjas rise from the depths with their swords drawn, killing on contact. This was the single biggest life-waster of the entire game, and in an arcade setting, would have cost a stupid amount of money to get through. There's a pattern though, and an area where no ninjas ever appear toward the left side of the screen. After dozens of deaths, I finally found the spot and was able to glide safely to the bottom of the pit, which it turns out leads straight to Hell.

Ninja zombies! Or is it zombie ninjas?

Neither!

I sense much evil in this cave.

Ack, there it is!

Final Boss: Daisokushinbutsu

At the bottom of the pit, a very large and powerful old monk awaited my arrival. He was a Sokushinbutsu, a very disturbing kind of monk who attempted to achieve Buddhahood by causing his/her own mummification. This one looked to have been physically successful, but I guess the process turned him evil, because he's the source of all the bad stuff that's been happening. In fact, his main method of attack is the exact same sparkly magic that killed the ninja in the game's opening.

The spark trails follow you around the room, forcing you to jump around roughly in a figure-eight pattern, attacking whenever you're both close enough and high enough. But they're fast, and he's always creating new ones, so it's easy to get caught off-guard. This is another fight where I regret not using a ranged weapon, but after several failed attempts, I managed to stay alive long enough to take him down using Righteous Cloud.

So YOU were the one who made those sparkly things!

Well, I'll be putting a stop to that!

With Daisokushinbutsu destroyed, his control over the ninja of the land ceased, and peace returned to the land. Thus, Tsukikage was free to return (albeit seemingly painfully) to his original wolf form until his powers are needed again. Three cheers for Tsukikage!

This is kind of painful to watch.

No staff roll, but here's your ending!

All right! Well, that was a nice quick one, wasn't it? The next game is still a bit up in the air, but I've got a few ideas. Stay tuned!

Teaser!

2009-11-20T13:55:00.000-05:00

In the next week or two here, Ryan will make some posts in which he does not document his progress through a game. Stay tuned!

[/hype]

RGR012 - The Moon is Whole... Again

2009-11-19T20:07:00.002-05:00

Bonk III isn't actually a long game at all; I was able to finish it in one day. But I like to space out my posts based on the number of screenshots, just to make it a little easier to digest. Having said that, let's get started with the next batch!

Love the bows. Everything else... NO.

Got any tiny hard hats?

Aww, he looks so sad.

WANT SECRET.

Stage 3 begins in a forest, with lots of Chikkuns and big-lipped fish to headbutt and AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE, respectively. See, the fish swallows you, and then you have to fight your way through its digestive system, and you come out of the fish's rear end smelling like you just came out of a fish's rear end, and no one wins in a situation like that. Beyond the forest, another stone tower awaits, but this one is climbed from the inside rather than the outside. The tower may actually be a pyramid, since it's inhabited by dinosaur mummies and other terrible things you might find in a dinosaur pyramid.

Third Boss: Pterodact-o-lantern

See what I did there? The boss doesn't really attack; it just flies back and forth across the room, slowly gaining height as it does. This makes it harder and harder to get above it until it gets too high and drops back down to start the pattern over. The head can be tricky to hit over and over again, since Bonk's headbutt timing seems to be less reliable than in the previous games. But persistence wins, and when persistence wins, Bonk wins.

Judging by the screenshots below, it's hard to imagine King Drool III fit inside that thing with his little flying machine.

Is it a bird? Is it a Jack-o-lantern?

No, it's King Drool III!

Don't trust prehistoric snowmen. Ever.

Bathtub karaoke is dangerous!

Crab + ice = horrible controls

Here, ma'am, let me help...

No platformer is complete without an ice level, and stage 4 fulfills the requirement. Snowy hills and plateaus lead to icy caverns, and Chikkuns in flying bathtubs sing karaoke and throw microphones at Bonk. No, I'm serious. Look at the screenshots.

Fourth Boss: Deceptive Nautilus

When you first enter the boss' chamber, you're greeted by a damsel in distress, tied up next to some dangerous-looking spikes. But when you get too close, the boss reveals its true form, a nautilus with the tips of its tentacles painted red to look like legs with red shoes. It then just kind of moves back and forth repeatedly. The challenge here is the ice, since one mistimed headbutt drop can send you hurtling uncontrollably into the spikes. But with a little patience, it's a very easy boss, as long as you don't try to rush the fight.

How dare you trick an innocent
caveman like that!

Oh, don't start crying now!

Hey, eyes on the road!

Let's not be subtle about it now.

Stage 5 is modeled after a modern city, complete with billboards advertising Bonk III all over the place.

Fifth Boss: Turtle Submarine

It's a turtle, and it's a submarine, and it launches various sea creatures at you. It only exposes its head at certain times, and maneuverability is tricky in the water, so this can be a challenging battle. I personally only saw the sub launch crabs and squids, but there's no telling what else it's got in there.

Why am I the only blue one?

Invisible Bonk wins!

I don't remember much about stage 6, other than jumping from pillar to pillar, but it's really just a gateway to the final stage.

Sixth Boss: Three-Man Crab Machine

This particular mechanical crab requires three Chikkuns to pilot it, two of whom get to wear goofy crab-eye hats. I couldn't get the hang of targeting the weak point, which I assumed was the unhatted Chikkun in the center, but keeping up my attacks worked just fine. Extra lives are easy enough to come by, after all.

How many Chikkuns does it
take to run a crab?

More than three, I guess.

King Drool III's latest hideout is at the bottom of the ocean, and he's keeping the top half of the moon bound by chains underneath it. Inside, a series of skull elevators lead to each of the bosses, but beating each boss returns you to this main room, and there's a big heart to recover all your life there, so there's not much to it.

What is it with his obsession with the top half of the moon?

Imagine what this is doing to the tides.

Oh boy, boss marathon time!

No fair! Those claws are fake!

YIKES! GIANT CREEPY SMILEY BABY!!!

Bonk looks way too happy.

Poor overworked flower.

After defeating the bosses, one last stage awaits, inside a giant house like the one in stage 2. There's a giant fake-clawed mom in the kitchen, a giant smiley-faced baby in its playpen, and occasionally a giant Bonk running around causing trouble. The path then leads down into a volcanic cavern, with lava waterfalls and all kinds of nasty obstacles.

Final Boss: King Drool III

No surprises here, unless you count the fact that, like you, King Drool III is capable of changing sizes as a surprise. His pattern cycles him through his various sizes (normal as pictured, Bonk-sized, nearly-microscopic, and so-big-only-the-top-of-his-head-is-visible-on-screen), and sees him mainly swooping or jumping from side to side across the screen. His weak point has shifted from his nose to the top of his crown, as far as I can tell, but hitting him there doesn't always work. I was able to get in two or three hits each time he changed size, and he cycled through his sizes nearly three times before I beat him.

Stand still so I can break
your nose again!

I'll just stomp on him now.

Once King Drool III is defeated, a series of explosions rocks his fortress, and the top half of the moon is freed from its imprisonment. Bonk then emerges unscathed from the undersea pit, and the top half of the moon rises out of the ocean and into the sky to be reunited with the bottom half. With the moon whole once again, the world is saved thanks to Bonk!

Oh no! Will Bonk make it out in time?

He sure will!

It's a good thing the moon floats on its own.

Brace yourself, lone moon palm tree...

Ahh, much better.

I don't wanna grow up; I'm a Bonk kid!

If we don't count the ports, spin-offs and non-canon games for other systems (or the arcade game), this marks the end of the Bonk's Adventure series. Maybe I'll check some of those games out and see if they merit a playthrough, but for now, we'll just say I'm done.

New game this weekend! And it'll be another TurboGrafx-16 game!

I'll give you a hint as to what it is: it has ninjas... and spirits!

RGR Game #012: Bonk III: Bonk's Big Adventure

2009-11-18T20:47:00.003-05:00

Your evolution is out of order down there.

Giant Bonk says "WAKE UP!!!"

All right, folks, it's time for Bonk III: Bonk's Big Adventure, the third and final game in the Bonk's Adventure series. King Drool III is up to his old shenanigans, and it looks like Bonk's once again the only one who can put a stop to it. The game is pretty much the same as the previous two, with one special new feature: size-manipulating magic candy! Yes, there are two types of magic candy: blue candy, which causes a normal-sized Bonk to grow to giant proportions (see above), and red candy, which shrinks normal-sized Bonk down to an itty-bitty little caveboy. Getting hit undoes either of these effects, though, so most of the game is spent as regular old Bonk.

There's also a two-player mode, where player two controls a second Bonk with a slightly different palette, but I didn't go into said mode to check it out (there's a short demo after the title screen, so all my info comes from that).

I should point out now that I don't know the names of the bosses, since the game never mentions them, and I have no instruction manual (nor do I know if they're in there). The Internet's also not a great source of info on this game for some reason.

Hey, who're responsible for this graffiti?

You'd better run!

See, there's a two-player mode.

You seem to have shrunk a little.

DAWWWWW!!!

Not as cute as Tiny Butthead Bonk.

Nnghhngh! *poot*

Is this the elusive Naked Baby Bonk?

Ooh, it's like Rampage!

I'm a human bulldozer, after all.

Ow, my... everything!

This pterodactyl has every reason to make that face.

Stage one runs the gamut of Bonk scenery: wilderness with mountain background, wilderness with volcanos, underground caverns, and even some modern-ish wharf areas, complete with motorcycle-riding Chikkuns (the eggshell-headed common enemies). Finally, deep inside a cargo freighter, we find the first boss.

First Boss: Mechanical Crab

The first boss is simple enough; he jumps around and tries to crush you under his feet and/or head, and that head is his weak point. If you allow yourself to be crushed, you'll temporarily transform into a crab (I never did figure out why), which gives you the ability to attack upward with your claws. This is an effective way of handling the boss, and actually makes him quite easy to beat. Once beaten, the pilot of the crab is revealed to be... what looks like King Drool III as a child, who runs away, swearing he'll be back.

Tiny Bonk fears no mecha-crab-thing!

Something's different now...

No, not in the face!

Yep, I'm inside yet another digestive tract.

Hello, breakfast.

The lipstick's a nice touch.

Quick, which one's the real Bonk?

The Mothman is real!

I like my sliders manual.

Silly Japanese developers.

Stage two begins outside a gigantic house, and continues into the house's outside plumbing, and then the sewers. After exiting the sewers, the stage continues with some sort of strange stone tower, inside of which the second boss awaits.

Second Boss: Somewhat Giant Robot

I say somewhat because he's less than a screen tall, and for a giant robot, that's really not that big. A series of pipes sticks out from the wall on either side, providing a handy way to get above the robot. He doesn't move his arms or legs much, instead preferring to use his ribcage-mounted rockets to float around the room. He occasionally floats up toward the top of the room, only to crash down and cause everything to shake, which knocks Bonk off balance and causes him to fall of whatever pipe he's standing on. His head is his weak point, but sometimes is also a weapon, and I wasn't able to figure out what the distinction was, so I just kept trying to get above him and hit him as many times as I could. As a consequence, I lost a few lives in this battle.

Once again, the wee li'l King Drool III was behind the boss the whole time.

Hey. Down here. Look at me!

Head trauma makes me so sleepy.

You again, huh? I'll get you yet!

Each time I beat him, he tells me he'll be back, but it's really more like I'm chasing him.

Milestones

2009-11-16T00:52:00.006-05:00

First off, I'd like to give major thanks to Kari for her fantastic Star Fox videos. I have fond memories of the game myself; I missed out on the competition due to sheer ignorance, but I rented the game, beat it, and THEN went out and bought it. That's a rare sequence of events for me.

Now then, we've reached two important milestones here on the Retro Gamer Ryan blog. The first is our 100th post, which was made official as of Kari's first Star Fox post (this right here is my 100th post). The second, and somewhat more unbelievable, is that the final Gargoyle's Quest II post marked the 1000th screenshot! That means I've written 1000 captions. One. Thousand. Captions. That's a lot of words. It kind of makes my brain hurt just thinking about it.

Here's to many thousands more! If my brain and fingers hold up, that is.

RGK001 - Final Assault on Venom

2009-11-15T07:00:00.010-05:00

Levels five and six, Venom

Final fight with Andross and the ending!

Because of the lagging 3D graphics on the staff roll, the music ends well before the credits. Just another example of Super FX emulation being a little off.

Ryan will be back with a new game for the next post!

RGK Game #001: Star Fox

2009-11-13T08:00:00.012-05:00

Hi, I'm Kari and I'll be making a guest post... My game will be Star Fox for the SNES.

Did I ever tell you that I was a Star Fox whiz when I was a kid? Well, of course not, I just introduced myself.

I won the Super Star Fox Weekend Competition (a huge contest done by Nintendo, held at local retail locations) at my local game store when I was in fifth grade. I got a Star Fox jacket, which I wore to school and got made fun of for. I haven't played Star Fox in well over ten years, so I was understandably rusty.

Ryan would like me to note that [geekery generously contained] the emulated Super FX chip isn't well-coordinated with the rest of the system. It has speed issues.[/geekery]

I'm gonna do this a little differently than you're used to... Since I'm not as clever as Ryan and can't make funny captions for each of my screenshots, I'm just gonna post video.

Level one, Corneria.
Andross' forces have invaded the base planet! I was kind of clumsy in my quest to double my blasters at the beginning.

Level two, Asteroid Belt.
When I was a kid, I would take the Black Hole exit to warp ahead, but I've forgotten how to access the Black Hole.

Level three, Space Armada.
This level will infinitely loop if you steer away from going inside each corridor ship.

Level four, Meteor.
This level is kind of tricky because things come up very fast, so you have to use your brakes quite a bit.

Next post... The final assault on Venom!!

RGR011 - The Rise and Fall of King Breager

2009-11-08T22:41:00.001-05:00

The Candle of the Ghoul Realm made short work of the barrier just east of Lethe's palace, giving me access to my final goal, Goza's Palace. The palace entrance was a long string of spiked walls with a few little platforms in between, obviously a challenge designed for my newly-acquired Magic Claw. Partway through, a room with collapsing platforms threatened to seriously step up the difficulty by also including enemies that, when killed, cause the lights to go out... completely. For several seconds, all you can see on screen is yourself. A lot of careful dodging is in order, to stay on the platforms, as well as avoid those enemies. Looking back, the Magic Tornado might have made the room easier, since I could have just gone straight up from the center of the room instead of using the spiked walls to gain altitude.

On the other side, Goza was waiting on his throne, but had little to say before beginning our fight.

It'd work better if it were
spelled correctly.

Palace overlooking abyss... check.

His head looks soft and fuzzy.

Wow, thanks for not wasting my time.

Sixth Boss: Goza

Goza is... well, he's kind of a joke at this point. His size requires him to technically be part of the background, and the spiked wall on the left prevents him from moving. So he just sits there, shooting little laser beams at you. His weak point is obviously the jewel on top of his head, so after positioning myself on the highest floating brick in the room, I was able to use short floating hops to attack him continuously. His lasers can destroy individual bricks, but his aim is pretty rough, so the lasers rarely get anywhere near a brick.

Before disappearing, Goza warned me that King Breager has been fully revived, and that I'm not nearly powerful enough to destroy him. But as soon as I stepped away from the throne, a mysterious voice identifying itself as Demogorgon congratulated me on my progress, and proceeded to give me its power, upgrading my flight duration to infinite and my vitality to one unit short of full. The remainder of my power was then unlocked, giving me the magic of Darkfire. Again, that'll be the only thing that can hurt Breager.

You don't even move? Lame.

You've got something on your chin there.

If he fights like you, I'm not worried.

Woot! Super power!

All right, it's on!

Oh, don't flatter yourself.

I was then sent to King Breager's stronghold, a final spike-filled romp on the way to Breager's throne room. Now that I have unlimited flight power and the Magic Claw, though, spike walls are of no concern to me. Along the way, I found a gray vial that gave me my eighth and final vitality point. After fighting off several enemies and busting my way through a brick wall, I reached the door to King Breager's throne room, where he quickly challenged me to the final battle.

Final Boss: King Breager

The battle against King Breager is similar to the Goza battle, since Breager is also an immobile part of the background. The challenge here is that the floating bricks have been replaced with a single pillar that floats back and forth in the center of the room above a pit of spikes. Breager himself launches floating bolts of evil energy that move toward Firebrand. The strategy, then, is to get to the top of the pillar, hop up to eye level with Breager, fire off as many Darkfire shots as possible, and then drop back down to the pillar when the energy bolts get too close. If you miss the pillar, the only other foothold is the spikeless patch of floor on the left side of the room.

Honestly, though, it's not nearly as hard as it sounds. I was able to weave between energy bolts and cling to the side of the pillar as needed, and had little trouble with the battle (although, as you can see below, I did die once). Only one Darkfire bolt can be on the screen at a time, but if you get really close to Breager's face, you can launch them quickly.

Once Breager gave his inevitable vow of vengeance, he faded away, and I was whisked back to the King's throne room, where everyone once again sang my praises. The King thanked me for my bravery, and told me of a newly-created realm called Earth that I was welcome to conquer and rule. He sent me off to be the king of Earth, and my role as the Red Blaze became the stuff of legend.

You refuse to stand up and fight?

Then you can die sitting.

You must not have known the legend.

Don't start sucking up now.

Why yes, yes I am.

I strive to excel.

Calm down, he's like 20 feet away.

Ooh, the whole Earth Realm? Goodie!

The legend comes full-circle.

Now presenting your bosses and staff!

With that, another great old adventure comes to an end. Be on the lookout for another game next week, along with some guest posts!